h2>Dating : Make Me A Match, Part 6
So there I am, at my favorite Honolulu beach (Kaimana’s FYI) when my phone rings and who should it be but SHERI. My stomach dropped slightly, as Sheri and I had exchanged words with one another not so long ago. You see, I wanted out of my contract, due to the lack of matches. Sheri and I went back and forward on this topic, but long story short…I’m locked in. It’s Just Lunch will honor the 12 dates in my contract, but they may not happen in the 6 months they promised. And at the rate I was going, it might just take YEARS before I get my 12 dates.
In any event, here I was on Kaimana beach paralyzed and staring at my phone as it rings and eventually goes to voicemail. As the VM comes thru, I take a deep breath and press play.
“Hi April. It’s Sheri from It’s Just Lunch. I wanted to tell you about a great match we have for you….”
Hurray! A Match!
I think to myself that it’s no coincidence that I’m getting a match so soon after battling over my contract. After all, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. But I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I listen on excitedly about my next match.
North is his name and he’s looking in the direction of LOVE.
North is very handsome with the squarest jawline I’ve ever seen. He’s described as “an executive” (Oooo) that enjoys travel and dining out. North is 42 years young, single, never married, no kids and looking for a long-term relationship leading to marriage.
Check, check and check!
After some back and forward regarding schedules, I have an official ZOOM date with North on Friday, December 11th at 1:00 PM, The same day I return from Hawaii.
Now I’m not usually nervous for a date, but for some reason I am for my date with North. Maybe it’s because I’m tired from my flight, or because it’s a Zoom date, but I feel like a childish schoolgirl. I even texted my friend, Kara, “I’m nervous. I hope he likes me!” So I’m going into this date a little insecure for whatever reason, but 1 o’clock rolls around and it’s time to do this thing.
I wore a pretty pink off the shoulder top and who really cares what I wore on the bottom, because North wouldn’t ever see that anyway. I positioned my camera so that my Christmas tree twinkled behind me and signed in. There he was waiting for me. He looked just like his picture, but even more handsome “in person”.
As the conversation began, North seemed reserved. He didn’t seem very excited or happy to be chatting. Maybe he was nervous or maybe he is just an asshole, because one of the first things out of his mouth was a subtle jab at my Christmas tree. How dare he!
As the conversation went on, he seemed to redeem himself. He opened up a bit. We chatted about Hawaii and my vacation, our respective work lives, COVID-19 and our coffee habits. The conversation flowed pretty easily and before I knew it, our 40 minutes was up. It was time to exchange information, and I heard my sister Pam’s voice in my head. “Let the man pursue you!” Got it, Pam! I’ll just let him ask for my number. He definitely will.
Totally.
Any second.
He’s just getting up the courage.
I’m sure any moment now. . . Annnnnd then he awkwardly ended the call.
He. Never. Asked. For. My. Effing. Number.
I was Mortified. Horrified. Stunned. And left completely empty. Now many friends have said the same thing: Maybe he was too nervous! Maybe he forgot! Reach out to your match maker! No. No. and No. Friends are lovely, but they are mostly full of shit in these situations. North didn’t ask for my number because North didn’t want it. Plain and Simple.
I learned something about myself in all of this. If a guy isn’t into me, would I prefer to be asked for my number and then ghosted ala David? OR not asked for my number at all ala North. And the answer is a resounding DAVID. Please just ask for my number. Let me save face in the moment. Then let me down easy later or ghost me if you’re a complete and utter coward.
What followed the North debacle was a sense of humiliation and shame. A sense that I wasn’t good enough and I may never find love. Did I take the rejection hard? Yeah you could say that. But it wasn’t just North, of course. It was the collective man kind that I felt rejected by. I was low.
Would I ever get my groove back? To find out stay tuned, stay hopeful and never stop believing in LOVE.
