All About “La Bise” – the French Greeting Kiss
“French kiss” is one of those terms that transcends languages, countries and cultures. Even in Canadian French, a deep kiss can be called a french. But if you had to pick a real “French kiss”, that would probably be kiss.
Kiss is an exchange of kisses on the cheek and the traditional greeting in France. It’s something most French people engage in at least once or twice a day, whether with family or friends, or with colleagues.
But despite being a part of everyday life in France, kiss can be complicated. Let’s talk about all things kiss, and learn more about kissing in French in general.
How do you say “kiss” in French?
Before we go into detail about kiss, it’s important to talk about how French people talk about kissing.
There are three different kinds of kiss in French:
the kiss / a kiss
A fundamental greeting in French culture. This is a series of light kisses on the cheek (the number varies depending on the region a person is from). Kiss is usually exchanged between friends and family. It can also be exchanged with coworkers, depending on your work environment, or even with total strangers if you’re in an informal, convivial social situation where everyone is greeting each other this way.
Women tend to systematically make kiss to men and other women, while men may refrain from exchanging kiss with other men (although they usually make an exception for family members and very close friends).
You may occasionally see or hear “a kiss”Instead of kiss. This would mean a quick peck on the cheek, not necessarily the multiple-kiss greeting ritual that is kiss.
Some French people will end informal emails, text messages, and other written exchanges with friends and family with Kisses gold Big kisses. This is the equivalent to XOXO or “Kisses”, “Love,” or “Lots of Love” in English.
Using this closing for a written exchange is more typically done by women than men, unless the men are talking to someone very close to them, mostly family. French women, on the other hand, will use these closings with friends or even friendly acquaintances (if that feels right).
a kiss
A cute word for a kiss. A kiss is often used by children. It can signify anything from an innocent kiss on the cheek, to a romantic kiss on the lips (a kiss on the mouth).
Kisses, lots of love, gold Kisses to all/all of you, etc. are often used as an informal, affectionate way to close an email, letter, text message, etc. In this context, it’s similar to “Love” or “Kisses” in English.
In my experience, these expressions are more common than the aforementioned Kisses/Big kisses. But like those expressions, these are also used mostly by women. Men tend to use them only with family.
Unlike Kisses/Big kisses, Kisss and its related expressions are somewhat childish and fun. Kisses / Big kisses are a bit more “adult”. That said, closing any kind of written communication with Kiss as a singular word is an affectionate way to “kiss” the person you’re in love with. Men and women can write this to their significant other.
Kisses, Kisses, and its related expressions can also be said when ending a phone call with friends, family, or your significant other.
a kiss
A kiss is the “grown-up”, standard way to say “a kiss”.
If you don’t specify where you’re kissing the person, it’s generally understood to be a kiss on the lips. But you can be specific, for example: a kiss on the hand, a kiss on the neck, kisses on the eyelids.
Because of its romantic context, this is the word you use when talking about a first kiss – a / his / my, etc. first kiss.
How to say “French kiss” in French
Now that you know kiss is used when talking about a romantic or sensual kiss, you probably won’t be surprised that a deep kiss (a deep kiss) is the standard way to say “French kiss” in French. You might also hear the more descriptive a kiss with the tongue.
There are also several common ways to say “French kiss” in informal French. These include:
- a shovel
- a galoche
- one skate
- a french (in Canadian French)
You may have noticed that the first three of these words have other meanings when they’re not used in this context or as slang. For example, a shovel is a shovel and one skate is a skate. So, what do those have to do with French kissing? It turns out they’re derived from an old French verb, skate, which evolved into grope (to caress insistently, fondle, grope).
Galoche is a big old shoe, a clodhopper, if you will. What does that have to do with French kissing? That’s not as easy to figure out. According to this source, it may have to do with the play on words between skate (skate) and skate (French Kiss). Whatever the case, if the kiss is a really wet, messy one, galoche works as a nice onomatopoeia!
You can find more kiss-related vocabulary and expressions here.
Why do we say “French kiss”?
As you can see, the French don’t refer to “French kisses”. That’s because they didn’t originate in France in the first place. The Kama Sutra, written in India around 300-400 BC, mentions several rough equivalents to French kissing. In Europe, Ancient Romans had the suavium, a special category of erotic kiss that was only supposed to be done with a prostitute.
In the 19th century, French people called “French kisses” Florentine kisses (Florentine kisses).
So why do we call them “French kisses today”? They got that name in early 20th century Anglo-Saxon culture, when it was common to call sexual or erotic things “French”.
How NOT to say “to kiss” in French
It may seem a bit complicated that there are three categories of kiss in French. But here’s something even more complicated that non-native French speakers need to know:
Although a kiss means “a kiss” in French, the verb kiss DOES NOT MEAN “to kiss”!
As a verb, kiss means “to fuck”.
So you can see why misusing it could lead to some awkward misunderstandings….
There is one notable exception to this rule, though.
Originally, the verb kiss did simply mean “to kiss”. Over time, it evolved to mean something more than that. But before things got to that point, the phrase kiss the hand (to kiss someone’s hand) was very common, since this sign of devotion or respect had been performed in French society for centuries.
The phrase is so prevalent in documents, literature, and poetry of the past, that the phrase today is perfectly understood to retain its original meaning. For example: The knight kissed the princess’s hand. (The knight kissed the princess’s hand.)
This common expression has even evolved into a noun: hand kiss (the act of kissing someone’s hand out of respect.)
How to say “to kiss” in French
So, how do you say “to kiss” in French? As with its noun form, there are several ways to express “kiss” as a verb in French.
To express doing kiss, you would say kiss.
To express giving a kiss, you’d say make a kiss gold give a kiss.
You can add detail to that specifying where (kiss her on the mouth, give him a kiss on the cheek, etc.)
To express sharing a romantic or erotic kiss, you’d use the verb to kiss, or its reflexive form, kiss.
For example:
Celeste wanted so much to kiss Joachim. (Celeste so wanted to kiss Joachim.)
So they kissed. (So, they kissed.)
Note that since kiss is a reflexive verb, you have to make it agree with the subject. So if you’re talking about two women kissing, you’d write: They kissed.
Another way to say “to give a (romantic or erotic) kiss” would be kiss gold give a kiss. There is a subtle difference between these two options and (kiss. Essentially, (kiss
has a more immediate feeling, while the other two have a bit of distance. Of course, this also depends on the context, connotation, or delivery of the words.
If you specifically want to say “to French kiss”, you have a few options. The most common are:
make a deep kiss
to kiss with the tongue
to roll a shovel
to roll a galoche
to roll a skate
make a french (in Canadian French)
Many of these slang phrases for “French kiss” use the verb to roll. That may have to do with the possible skating pun tied to skate as well as possibly shovel and galoche that I mentioned previously. But there’s no certainty about its origin. Maybe it’s just an exaggerated way to suggest the tongue’s movement.
How do you greet a French person with kiss?
Now that we know a little more about kissing in France in general, let’s talk specifically about kiss.
Kiss is a traditional, common way to greet family, friends, and even coworkers (depending on your workplace). It’s the equivalent of both a handshake and a hug.
Basically, make kiss consists of lightly kissing someone on the cheek or cheeks.
Depending on the region of France you’re in and / or the region a French person comes from, the number of kisses to exchange varies, as does which cheek to start with.
If that sounds intimidating, don’t worry – even French people may not know how many kisses are exchanged in different places in France.
Generally, if it seems like you haven’t exchanged enough with someone, they won’t be offended. They’ll either just continue and you’ll take their lead, or they might even explain “In [my region of France], we do [number of] kisses. ” I’ve experienced both, and there was never any frustration or animosity.
As for which cheek to start with, I’ve never really even thought about that, personally. The other person usually just leans in with a particular cheek, I guess, and we take it from there.
So, don’t worry: Despite the tradition and protocol around kiss, you’ll probably find that in many ways, it’s pretty intuitive. You’ll also be given a lot of leeway if you’re a foreigner, especially if you come from a faraway country or one that’s considered “prudish” by the French (this very much includes the US).
But if you want to become an expert on kiss, there are ways you can study up. For instance, there are actual maps that show the average number of kisses to exchange in each region, and which cheek to start kissing.
This said, there can be variations. Personally, I usually just let the French person take the lead.
If you’re a visual learner, you can watch the video on this webpage (which also includes lots of information about kiss) to see what it looks like to kiss. You’ll also hear someone explain that in the region they come from, it’s three kisses, not two. The video is a bit silly, so take parts of it with a grain of salt, but the opening scene where the four people greet each other is absolutely realistic.
One thing you might notice in the video is what people do with their hands when exchanging kiss. Some will lightly hold the other’s upper arm or shoulder, while others will just extend their cheek. I’m not sure that there is any particular reason for this. It could have to do with how close you feel to someone, or it might just be as simple as needing some purchase so you don’t topple over.
Keep in mind that kiss is a greeting, so that means you would only do it to a person twice, at most, in a single time you’re together – once when you say hello and once when you take your leave of each other. It isn’t something you do every time you pass each other in the hall at school or work.
Who else does kiss?
As you can see from this survey, many other European Francophone countries exchange kiss. Other countries, like the Netherlands, practice it to a certain extent, as well, although it may not be as codified.
You may also live in a country where kiss isn’t generally a thing, but in your particular subculture, it is. That’s the case for me. I grew up in an Italian-American family in north New Jersey. There, kiss is de rigueur when you greet friends and family (even cousins you’ve never met), although it can be more …
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