Dating : Making friends as an adult
Is this thing on???
Okay. So I (24f) think it’s super weird and unnecessarily hard to make friends as an adult. Co workers sometimes turn into friends but not really. All of my real friends from childhood are all scattered out so ultimately I have no one to hang out with on a regular basis. I don’t have other women around to just go grab a bite with or a drink or go to each other’s houses or things like that… why is it so hard to find a friend. And don’t get me started on dating! The apps are useless but no one actually goes to the grocery store and meets the love of their life like in the movies, right?
Yeah I’m 24f and I also find that it’s hard to make friends. I’ve friends all over the place and I also crave the kind of friendship you mentioned – just grab a bite, hang out etc. I’ve been trying to use social media (like Instagram) to create friendships with other women that I follow but it’s like… we’re all grown. Most of them already have a solid group of friends and arent really looking for more.
Yeah dating is another hard one but don’t think I have any advice on that. I just got out of a 2.5 year relationship and I met my ex on tinder lol.
You’re not imagining it. It takes work. Some recommendations that I’ve found useful.
*Meetup
*Eventbrite (find events, attend, meet people – hopefully make friends)
*AllEvents.in (same as above)
* « [Your location] volunteer opportunities » Attend, meet people, repeat until familiar faces are forced to befriend you
* Google local/community news outlets in your area. Subscribe or check often. Usually they will have a social calendar of events. Attend, meet people, trick into friendship.
Good luck, finding friends as an adult sucks!
I just moved to a new city and it’s sooooo hard to find friends (24f) like I see really cool people but most of the time it’s in passing and it’s hard to start up that friendship conversation. I’ve heard a lot of good things about bumble BFF but idk lol
What helped me (as a guy, though I’m gay if that matters at all) was joining a few hang out groups on Facebook that were local. They often organized activities, board game nights, bar hops, and that sort of stuff. It wasn’t a big group, but we consistently got 6-14 people to show up to every event. Even as the youngest one in the group, it was still really fun and enjoyable. As someone who used to have a lot of confidence issues, I had to push myself to hang out with strangers, but what resulted made me to still have those friends even though I’m currently working abroad. Remember that a circle of friends is like, a 2D shape, man. It’s not a sphere. There’s holes on the top and bottom of the circle for you to hop in. You just gotta take a leap of faith! ^_^
And if you play games online like on Steam, feel free to hit me up, dude! I know I’m not a woman, but hey, I’m willing to hang with you and get to know you.
I moved to a new place and used bumble bff to meet girls, and it worked great si far!
It is harder but not weird.
It’s always good to have new friends.
But it’s also good to be on friendly terms with people, who are not necessarily your friends.
An example of this is coworkers.
We work with people for almost 8 to 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, or sometimes more for some people.
We will definitely have a better time if we get along with them and we’re friendly with them .
But just remember, most of them are not the friends that you expect in life. They may not come to your children’s birthday party or your child’s wedding. They may not keep in touch with you if you leave the company or if they leave the company.
But by creating these chains of friendships , you can still reasonably ask and depend on them for certain minor things in life.
For example , if your kid needs a car and they have a car to sell , maybe you’ll get a good deal with them, because they know you, compared to buying from a total stranger.
So making friends and being friendly is always a good thing.
And when you’re single and alone , trying to find a romantic partner is also good. Some people can live life in relative solitude and alone status but most people wouldn’t mind having somebody to come home to. Somebody to celebrate their happy moments and support them in their sad moments.
Talk to people, go out and actually try. Putting some effort into it it’s the best way to get to know someone.
I once saw a guy at work and went to him and asked if he was new cuz he was alone, he was so cool to talk that I got his contact at the same night and already made plans to hang out to more than one place.
And we did, we went to cinema, to ice skating and more. We become really good friends.
If you don’t try or don’t even talk to people and expect you gonna find on the Internet, I have bad news for you. Talking for weeks with someone until you meet them won’t work, you have to be face to face to see if you vibe to be friends and to date that’s totally a must too, Internet is good to have a chance to talk to different groups of people, but gotta meet them to proper get to know.
Think someone seems interesting? Go to him/her and talk, don’t be shy or awkward. Trust me, you might find some cool people
I work in a grocery store and yeah that whole idea of meeting someone special there by chance is a lie, I’m sure it’s happened but still. All I ever encounter is old men who get ass clenchingly close to me, I’m a straight tall bald guy, didn’t realise I was the type for older guys.
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!
I’m 26 and moved to a different country 3 years ago and I’ve been finding it so hard to make meaningful friendships. Like I have friends who I kill time with every now and then, but it’s so hard to find friends with whom you can have deep conversations with.
I still wonder how we managed to make friends when we were kids like this shit is hard bruh.
I thought it was just me. I am such a cool dude, I cant for the life of me understand why I have no friends.
I am a male 27 and I find it hard to make friends too. I have intense social anxiety/depression which I am working on with therapy and medication. I am relieved to know that there are other people out there who are facing the same situation. I always thought everyone else had friends but me lol. OP I hope you make some true friends one day.
It’s easier to make friends when you join places that have hobbies you can do, more people are willing to talk and get to know others.
I have no idea why it is so hard to make friends. Like I try to meet people and they are fakes and flakes as friends. I know everyone has lives and stuff but like you can’t call yourself my friend then never talk to me but once a year when you want advice. Maybe join some activities do yoga or something you like
Is meetup (the site) active in your area? It’s a fantastic way to make friends.
Im really fan of a certain type of festival and randomly join the Facebook group for it in my city (where I was born and raised but didn’t know anyone sharing that hobby). I ended up joining the organizing team after a call for volunteers. That’s how I met my boyfriend <3 . Also, half the group are expats so for them it’s a way to meet people with the same hobby. Anyway we’re a big happy group and I love them !
Get a dog. I’ve recently got a new puppy and I’ve talked to so many more people, been invited to bbqs and dog socials.
Find an activity.
Join a beer league sports team. Get a hobby that requires a group (hiking, biking, running club), take a cooking class, photography course, or some other life skill.
Just go outside and do something that requires other people; you already have something to talk about!
Most importantly, Put your phone down and talk to another human being face-to-face.
Do you know about Yes Theory .
Nowadays , most of my friends are from Yes Theory
Try joining some sort of fitness class like yoga or volunteer somewhere! Sometimes you find the right one and suddenly you have a community of friends!
I find it extremely difficult as well. When my daughter isn’t with me I spend most of my time alone because I lost so many friends when I got divorced (his friends were our friends). I’ve tried to reach out to several people along the way but like many of you have said, adults already seem to have their group of friends and aren’t really looking for newcomers.
I’m even tried Bumble and on here to connect with other people looking for friends but haven’t had any luck.
I do get envious of people who have friends they can go grab a drink or bite to eat with. With the pandemic restrictions there’s no way I’m sitting at a table by myself while I get dirty looks from groups of people waiting for a table.
Yep, I (25f) feel this too ☹️
I’m in my early thirties and found FB groups great for this. Recently moved to a new city solo so the one tip I have is to just be proactive – if someone says they’d be up for meeting in your area for a catch up/brunch/dinner etc, send them a message and set a day. I’ve done this and made myself get out there because a good friend network is, in my opinion, the key to keeping loneliness at bay (even more so than a partner I’ve found). Some you’ll click with more than others (it’s like dating with way less pressure!) but it’s great practice for your social skills post-pandemic too!