Couple: how to recognize a toxic romantic relationship?
« Toxic »: « Said of a product or a substance harmful to the body », enlightens us the Larousse in the first place, before proposing a second definition which specifies that « toxic » is said (also) of a person or relationship whose influence is psychologically harmful, pernicious. So yes, rhubarb leaf limbo is poisonous and therefore dangerous, but a romantic relationship can be just as dangerous. Incomparable? Not that much. To recognize a toxic romantic relationship, we just have to observe it and identify the taste it leaves us to better detach ourselves from it. We take stock.
How do I know if my spouse is toxic?
In this time of informing about narcissistic perverts and other toxic people, we tend to see evil everywhere, at least not to take it into account. An argument explodes in the couple and we wonder if our spouse is not toxic. Ditto if our spouse no longer answers the phone three days to follow. However, toxicity is not just a result of indelicate attitudes and inevitable tensions. The real way to identify someone toxic is to question yourself: am I suffering from this relationship? Let’s say that part of the toxicity remains subjective, that is to say that it depends on our own feelings and the way in which this relationship affects us: depending on the relationships maintained, an individual can be more or less toxic, he will not behave the same with everyone. Of course, a part of objectivity puts us on the path. Overall, a toxic man or woman will know how to devalue us and slow us down in our projects. This person is also the type to complain a lot for attention, but he knows how to disappear and abandon us to make us feel guilty.
Identify the signs that should alert?
The signs that should alert about a toxic romantic relationship are found « in us », because a relationship is above all toxic to hurt us, hence the importance of questioning our emotions, our feelings, our behavior. A relationship is therefore toxic if (out of order) you frequently feel belittled by your interlocutor, you lose self-esteem (and confidence) since you saw him, you are afraid of him but cannot manage it. ‘avoid, you go over some of your conversations, you feel guilty about not knowing how to manage this relationship, you feel tense, irritated, generally angry, you no longer recognize yourself and do not recognize your life so much … body, it is also a vector of clues, which should be listened to: stomach aches, back pain, unusual fatigue …
Read also:How to unmask a narcissistic pervert
Why do we stay in a destructive relationship?
A relationship is toxic when it affects us morally and physically, but its toxicity is also expressed in the difficulty of fleeing. Why ? Because the toxic relationship works on guilt: the toxic partner insidiously manages to accuse « his prey » of all his ills, all of his states, and never ceases to devalue her, so much so that she imagines herself « fucked up » without him. And when he hurts her, he also learns to « do good » the next moment, so that his doubts disappear. By force, in this case, we enter an unhealthy pattern that positions us as a victim in a situation of dependence, and we constantly question ourselves by thinking that we are the problem, and that therefore our toxic spouse is the solution. But he is the problem. This pattern worthy of manipulators is evidently expressed in other types of relationships, in family, in friendship …
How to get rid of love addiction?
Getting out of a toxic love addiction doesn’t happen without awareness. The important thing, therefore, is first to question yourself about your condition and to realize how much the relationship makes us suffer. Then, it is necessary to turn the attention towards oneself and to understand that the objective is none other than to save your skin. Leaving can be difficult, but it is not impossible. Usually, we talk about a sudden break, let’s say sudden and without much chatter, to avoid any dialogue likely to rekindle a feeling of guilt. At the same time, being surrounded (by healthy people, of course) and being accompanied by a psychologist can be lifesaving. This “team” around us allows us to support our limping esteem, also to encourage us to continue in the right direction, those of better days.
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