Dating : 3 Life Lessons I Learned From Barbara Sher, Life Coach & Best-Selling Author

“Don’t stand in the middle of a superhighway and create your own reality.”

“Just think positive.”

“Create your own reality.”

“Believe in yourself and it’ll happen.”

All that… it’s bullshit. It’s fantastic if you wake up and feel happy and positive but that alone isn’t going to change your life. You need to do the work and you can, even if you feel like shit. If you think about it, as Barbara Sher has said, you make get up feeling horrible, but you’re still going to get done what you need to get done. You’re still going to go to work, or take the kids to school, or make dinner so your family doesn’t starve. You don’t need positivity for that stuff. So… why not do the same for your dreams? Treat them like a “have to” and just get stuff done, little by little. Eventually, you’ll start seeing some success, no matter how small and maybe, just maybe, a spark of positivity will start to bubble up inside you. If so, that’s great! Positivity is wonderful to have, but don’t make it and end all be all. You can work through the times you don’t have confidence and positivity.

Like it or not, we need other people. I’m an introvert so this idea makes me cringe a little inside, but Barbara Sher’s thoughts about going after a goal or dream alone vs getting a group or tribe together makes sense. We all like to think we know everything at one point or another, but we don’t. We don’t know everything. We can’t. It’s just not possible. But get a large group of people together and I guarantee there will be people in that group that have ideas and suggestions for your dream that you’ve never thought of. Other people also have resources you may not have access to or even knowledge of. Barbara Sher likes to encourage Idea Parties. These are simply virtual or in real life gatherings of people where you share your goals and dreams as well as what is keeping you away from them. Maybe you want to travel the US but you cannot afford a camper. Or maybe going on a cruise is your bucket list item that seems too expensive to be possible. In the career category, maybe you want to intern somewhere but you just can’t get your foot in the door.

Idea Parties are where everyone can listen and then give suggestions or offer resources to the person in need. At first, I thought this idea of having a party for ideas was silly… until I saw some results in a YouTube video. Sometimes it was a simple thing, like the person wanting a cruise was offered a gift certificate for a three-day cruise another had won in a raffle. Or sometimes it was a larger opportunity, like the person wanting to travel the US taking pictures was offered a vehicle and a stipend from another’s employer for a trip backed by the company. Sometimes other people have unexpected resources they are willing to share if you’d just ask.

Barbara Sher believes that each one of us on this earth has a gift to share and we owe it to the world to share it. We can all benefit the world in some way and there are others out there just waiting to learn from you or benefit from what you can do. We all know what we like to do, but sometimes fear of not earning income from it will keep us from pursuing even our most loved passion. Don’t do that! You need to go after what you love, at least in some capacity. We all need money to pay the bills, but at worst, take that lackluster day job and kick ass in the evening with your talents on a passion project. You never know how your pursuit will have a ripple effect on others and wouldn’t it be a shame for not only you to fail to reach for your dreams but many others down the line as well because you weren’t there to inspire them? The world needs you and your unique gifts. Don’t keep them hidden away.