Dating : 4 POINTERS FOR THE “GHOSTEES” in the dating world.

I talked about rejection in dating. I talked about the “ghosters” I had to talk about “ghostees” too. They are hurt and going through an emotional roller coaster ride.

I have 4 pointers for all you ghostees.

1. Humans are instinctively social, and they don’t want to disrupt their social relationship of any sort so they use avoidance strategy. People just don’t want to confront . . . regardless of age or race . . . men, women . . . from a 20-year-old to 60-year-old plus. I haven’t dealt with 70 plus yet. Ghosters don’t know you so they don’t know how you are going to react. Are you going to get mad at them, argue with them, try to convince them how good you would be together in case you really liked them?

2. Remember, you are worthy and valuable. If someone ghosted you, you need to accept that, that person was not for you. They saved you time so that you can focus on yourself. That will put you on a self-discovery path. It is not a waste of time at all. You will learn and use that knowledge later. Do things for yourself. Get involved in things that you have always wanted to do. I assure you, that will make you feel so much better about yourself.

3. If you really really liked the person and you can’t get over the fact that the person ended it, and you are confused why the person suddenly stopped talking despite everything going fabulous thus far which as a result makes some of you curious and you are tempted to ask what happened there. Well, if asking will give you some peace, what the heck, ask. But be prepared if that person doesn’t respond and if that person does respond to you then it is not what you want to hear.

4. Everyone has to watch out for themselves. If you feel that the person you met or have been talking to doesn’t meet your needs and criteria, you will step away too, right. You will either keep quiet (ghost) or if you are kind enough, you will let that person know you are not a right fit.

End of story.

I will share an interesting study (Dr. Freedman, 2018) with you that showed “Individuals who have stronger destiny beliefs are more likely to ghost. These people have a fixed mindset and believe relationships are either going to work out or not.” In other words, they have a black or white thinking. Whereas those who have a growth mindset believe relationships take work to grow.

Not too many studies have been done on it since it is a fairly new concept or maybe it is becoming more obvious and noticeable now because of social media, technology and online dating.

Whatever the case is, ghosting is common, and it can happen to anyone who is in the dating world.

If you are struggling, I totally get it. And I can help. You are worth it. Because you my dear deserve LOVE.

Your Coach,

Sonali