Dating : 5 Signs You Are Settling For Someone You Like But Don’t Love.

Then one day, you have the good fortune of meeting someone who would make an appropriate mate. There is a sense that finally you can fit in with the family gatherings, the couples get together and all the other host of events you may have missed out on because you have been single and just wouldn’t quite fit in some of these events as a single person.

You know though something is missing in the person.

Something just doesn’t quite fit…

It’s not that you are looking for a perfect mate…. after all, you are also not a perfect person. You understand that there will be compromises that have to be made. You accept that list that you had is no longer valid, since no one can fit the bill of the 21 odd needs on the list!!

This potential mate has the key things that matter for a relationship.

They earn a decent income, has a college education, lives in a nice place, good-looking and sociable.

They will make a good father/mother.

Yet something doesn’t quite fit.

You engage in self-talk and convince yourself and go ahead with wedding plans, you accept that you may never really be in love with this person, but they possess likeable traits…so you convince yourself …it is okay to settle Right?

Wrong.

Now please don’t misunderstand, what I am saying, relationships are not what we see on movies, that a dashing handsome prince or beautiful princess will appear before you and you ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.

All relationships will involve making allowances for the other. Without doing so, it may not even last a day!!

So you will have to focus on what is the most important values and traits for you in forming a marital relationship and don’t go in a marriage until finding these. Unless you want to be miserable.

These are not superficial traits like they must drive a certain type of car…or eat at a particular restaurant. I have over simplified the example, but you get the point I am making.

All relationships come to a point at times where you may feel like leaving, because of one thing or the other. However, you would then need to remember the key reasons why you got married in the first place to keep going. If both partners can’t remember very good reasons for getting married, then chances are at the first sign of difficulties they will sprint.

I speak all of these from my own experience. I settled in my first marriage. I wasn’t looking for a prince charming, but key things like having someone you could build a friendship with, and have conversations on a wide range of topics openly, were things that I gave up on, because I bowed to societal pressure that I was of the marriageable age and needed to “settle”.

What are you “settling” for?

The end of loneliness.

A partner to attend functions and family gatherings with.

Someone who will come home and cook a dinner.

If you can look at your current partner and not envision weathering the storms with you…then you are settling.