Dating : Bald woman in Sari

Bald woman in Sari

Outpatient clinic (OPD) of my pediatric department is always a busy place. This is the place where I have been working for past 12–13 years. We provide services to newborn babies till adolescence. As a pediatrician I do examine these children but at the same time I have to spend more time for parents to counsel them about their child’s condition. Thus each consultation would take 20–30 minutes even in a crowded OPD. Our OPD is one big hall with sitting arrangements at four corners; thus maintaining privacy is not feasible at times. Whenever we need privacy to talk or examine the child, we would take a child to another smaller room next to the hall.

As usual, this day was another busy day with many children lined up for their check ups. I was talking to a kid who came for headache. I was trying to find out the cause for her headache. But while taking her history I got distracted. Someone in the other corner of the hall caught my attention. The more I tried to ignore , the more I got attracted. This woman was standing there in a queue for her son’s turn. She was tall for Nepali height. Half of her face was covered with a mask. Yet I can clearly see her well trimmed eyebrows and her long, thick and curled eyelashes. But I was more curious about her hair. She had clean shaven head. What surprised me most was that she was wearing a sari. Sari is a garment consisting of a length of cotton or silk elaborately draped around the body. Sari is traditionally worn by women from South Asia. In the modern era and with changing time , women in Nepal started wearing more comfortable dresses like kurta salwar or t-shirt and pants. In recent days, sari is worn mostly in rural parts and in more conservative families or during traditional or family events like marriages. And till this age, almost reaching half century, I have not seen a bald Nepali woman. Men do shave their heads when family members or close relative dies. But for woman, it is not heard of.

And here, a bald woman in sari was standing in front me. My brain started to wander here and there. I started to assume that she might be on some drugs for the cancer as cancer drugs are notorious for hair fall. A man standing next to her was also bald. I assumed the man to be her husband. I assumed that she must have shaved her head for her relative. I assumed she was a feminist. I assumed her to be rebellious who is against all the old traditions where females are not allowed to participate in mourning process or shave heads.

All these assumptions were now cluttering in my mind but I kept on examining other children. Finally she approached to me with her child. As I took the history and examined the child, I found out that her son had autism. In autism, children have some typical stereotypic behaviors and this boy had habit of plucking the hair of their parents and swallowing those hairs. This behavior of plucking hair would exaggerate whenever he was in distress. If he was not allowed, he would scream, cry and jump for hours. At times, it would be intolerable and parents would allow him to do so. Even with all the efforts, the parents were not able to control his behavior. He used to swallow 10–20 strands of hair everyday for almost 2 years. But fortunately he did not develop any major health issues like clumping of hair in the stomach causing pain or vomiting. As they could not find any solution they gave up. As the saying goes “ Na rahegi baas, na bajegi baasuri” or if there is no bamboo who will make or play the flute; they decided to shave their heads. In the beginning, the boy threw tantrums for few days but gradually he gave up the habit.

Autism itself is a very complex neurobehavioral disorder. It is a life long condition and parents need to be alert twenty-four hours a day. Each day a new challenging behavior emerges. For each behavior , the traditional approach might work or might not work. The solution for these behaviors might take years to get resolved even with behavioral therapies. The method that work for one kid might not work at all for the other kid.

And my big salute goes to all the parents who have found their own way to tackle their unique issues. This woman must be having a long wavy hair but she did not care about her appearance. She did not care about the societal boundaries. She stood even more taller for her son. She is not alone in this fight. There are 1 in 59 children diagnosed with autism in this recent years. With all the kids, there are varied behavior challenges. But a bald woman remains as an inspiration for many. Even if not , she will remain my inspiration for long. She will always remind me that for parents, their children are the best and they would do anything for their kids.