h2>Dating : Dating vs. Marriage + Things that need to change
Dating vs. Marriage + Things that should change
Hi there folks! My purpose for this article is to explain a few topics that require changing when going from dating to married. My husband and I met on the Bumble dating app in Summer 2019 and have been married about two weeks now. Even as newly weds at just two weeks in, we already mutually recognize things that need to shift when entering a marriage. This is the transition period where you have to train your mind to stop thinking “me” and start thinking “we”.
We have recently moved into our first apartment together after the wedding. What does that mean you ask? It means that now we have to create OUR home and take into account each others opinions and needs. I am the female *obviously* in the relationship so naturally I like to nest and decorate the home how I like. There was an instance recently where I moved something that Jacob had put out and I didn’t communicate with him my reason for undoing what he did. The key here was the lack of communication. This is where I went wrong. Once a couple is married and no longer just bf and gf, the couple now exists as one. You need to create a home as one. You need to think of the other persons feelings when making decisions and life moves.
Another topic that needs to be discussed and understood is joint finances. At this present time we have not personally combined any finances yet because it is still early on, but we do plan to create a shared account so both people in the marriage know what’s up. Jacob and I agree that if a couple were to separate finances indefinitely and all transactions are unknown, then this is going to create distrust and it just flat out keeps distance between you rather than brings you closer. This topic should not be thought of as a matter of his money or her money and pointing fingers because it is OUR money now. I suppose you could say this is another topic that requires communication and before going out to buy new $130 shoes, make sure you do a rundown of your current money situation with your partner.
The third and final topic that is important in a new marriage is being each others #1 cheerleader and backbone. I knew from the moment we said “I do” that we would be doing life together and helping each other through the ups and downs first and foremost. Yes, of course other relatives are still important and yes other friendships and healthy outside relationships are important. My point here is that your spouse is your best-friend, your shoulder to cry on, your #1 support system, and just overall your partner through life and your MARRIAGE is priority. I’ve noticed in other people’s relationships before that outside people talking about your relationship or putting in unwanted opinions regarding your relationship business is not helpful or healthy. The minute you feel your marriage or relationship is being strained or tension has occurred, you definitely need to address the issue and make sure you and your partner get back on the same page.
