Dating : Did I Meet My Husband? “The Party”

It was a Sunday morning, December 10, 2018 to be exact. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, doing what I love to do most — my makeup! On Sundays I always take a little extra time applying my makeup for two reasons. One, I actually have the time to do it, unlike the weekdays where I consistently find myself rushing for work. And two, I always have the thought, this could be the Sunday that I meet my husband at church. So, of course, I had to look perfect.

This particular Sunday I knew! I knew I was going to meet my husband that day. I was overwhelmed with hope, optimism, and faith. In the midst of applying my third layer of mascara, those emotions translated into seven words. “I’m going to meet my husband today,” I said. Those words resonated strongly within me.

I continued saying those words as I got dressed. Finally, I was ready to head out the door. As I headed downstairs and stood in the living room, I took one more look in the mirror to make sure my outfit was, “I’m ready to meet my husband,” approved. The living room in my house is a mixture of modern and outdated. And when I say outdated, I am referring to a wall that is completely covered with mid-sized square mirrors to create one huge wall of mirrors. Though old-fashioned by today’s home design standards, it always comes in handy! Staring in the mirror, with a smile on my face, I was satisfied with how I looked. I headed out with my mother and off to church we went. While driving, I said to my mom, “mom guess what?” In a disinterested tone, she replied “Yes Naomi, what is it?” “I’m going to meet my husband today, I said.” “Okay, we shall see, she said.”

It was now two hours and fifteen minutes later. Church was over, and I didn’t meet any potential mates before, during, or after the service. “Oh well” I thought to myself, after all the day was far from being over. I got in the car and checked my phone for messages before pulling out of the church parking lot. I saw that I had a text message from my friend Queen. Queen is a British born, laid back, free spirited, Nigerian girl. She’s tall, voluptuous, and wears her beautiful dark brown skin with confidence. Queen and I have been friends for three years. We started out as coworkers, and as we got to know each other we became friends. We tend to hold long conversations that consists of laughter every five minutes. We hang out often, spending most of our time eating at trendy restaurants or planning our next fun weekend getaway. This day her text was an invite to her friend’s house later that evening. The friend and her friend’s husband were holding a small get together to celebrate their newborn baby’s dedication. Since I had no other plans for the day, I gladly accepted the invite.

In keeping with our usual Sunday routine, my mom and I headed to our favorite grocery store to pick up a few items for Sunday dinner. While driving to the market, the thought came to me that I was either going to meet my husband while grocery shopping or at the house gathering I was invited to. I was excited to have two more options in my day to meet him.

Before getting out of the car, I checked myself in the rear-view mirror. I wanted to make sure my makeup was still intact and nothing weird had attached itself to my face. As my mom and I walked into the market, I immediately scanned the produce section to see if any of the men were brown, handsome, and single. None of the men I saw fit that description. I covered every square inch of the store but I did not have a single interaction with a man. I felt slightly disappointed as I walked out empty handed, and by empty handed I mean without my soulmate’s phone number. On the bright side, I still had one more opportunity to meet my husband that day!

When I arrived home from the grocery store, I had plenty of time to spare for an outfit change for the house party. I decided on something that was a bit more comfortable but cute of course. I slipped into a low-cut orange sweater that fell just below my waist, a pair of black skinny jeans, and my favorite black leather Chelsea boots that had a two- and a half-inch block heel. Nothing fancy, but for me, it worked. The time had finally come for me to head out to my final destination for the day. It was my last opportunity to possibly meet my husband.

Queen and I pulled up to her friend’s house ready to eat and have a good time. She knocked on the door and we were immediately greeted with a hug and kiss on the cheek from Queen’s friend Kim. “Hey ladies! You guys look cute! C’mon in,” said Kim. “You look amazing yourself. Loving that dress!” I said. Kim was wearing a beautiful ankara dress. Kim, and her husband Emmy, are Nigerian. I first met them at a birthday party I attended with Queen. I remember not knowing anyone at that party. I sat at the same table with Kim that evening. Kim introduced herself and we spent the rest of that night chatting it up. Her husband Emmy is a nice guy. He’s the kind of person who makes you feel like you have always known him although you’ve never met. At that time, Kim was pregnant with their first child. There I was, two and a half months later, at their home to celebrate their baby girl’s dedication to the Lord.

I never like being the first person to show up to a party, so as Queen and I walked into the house I was happy to see we were not the first to arrive. There was a husband and wife couple seated in the living room. Queen and I took our seats on the sofa and introduced ourselves. The four of us began having a random but friendly conversation about anything that came to mind. Kim came out of the kitchen with a large bowl full chips for us to snack on until dinner was served. While we all were snacking and chatting, Kim’s husband Emmy made his way downstairs. He greeted everyone with a boisterous hello and a corny joke that I forced myself to laugh at.

An hour had gone by, and the house began to fill with people. As the men entered, I discreetly glanced at their ring fingers to see if they were married. Each one had on a wedding band and a wife tagging along behind them. It was a little discouraging to see, but I was still having a great time.

Queen and I had been at the party now for two hours and the house was packed! Kim and Emmy grabbed everyone’s attention so they could say a few words. “Thank you everyone for coming to celebrate with us, we hope you all are enjoying yourselves,” said Kim. “We know everyone is hungry, so let’s eat,” Emmy said. The words “let’s eat,” were music to my ears. I was starving! Everyone stood up at once and formed a line toward the kitchen. A smorgasbord of food was set up on the countertop buffet style. It wasn’t often that I got the pleasure of eating an authentic home cooked Nigerian meal. I was excited to have the opportunity that night. I loaded my plate with jollof rice with goat meat, fish, collard greens, and macaroni and cheese. I made my way back into the living room with Queen following right behind. We sat on the sofa and ate in a “hunger silence” until our plates were empty.

After we finished devouring our food, Queen looked over to me and said, “Hey Naomi, I guess we can leave soon, we’ve been here for almost three hours.” “Yeah, that’s fine with me, whenever you’re ready let me know,” I replied. At that moment, I took another quick look around the room to make sure I didn’t overlook any potential soulmates. I turned my head toward the doorway and noticed two men arriving late. To my surprise I knew one of them. His name was Obi. Obi is a guy that Queen knew from her church. She set the two of us up on a blind date a few months prior. Let’s just say, Obi was not my type. I had not spoken to him since and was hoping he would not look our way. I wasn’t in the mood for an awkward interaction. With Obi was another young man. Unlike Obi, this guy was easy on my eyes. I looked over at Queen and Queen looked over at me, and at the same time we said to each other, “he is cute!” (referring to the mystery guy). We both began laughing hysterically! Although Queen was not married like all the other ladies there that night, she was in a serious relationship at the time. That meant I was the only available women in the room. And for this guy, I was definitely available. From that moment on, I was not able to take my eyes off this man.

Suddenly, I was no longer ready to leave the party. I wanted to stay, I needed to stay. I had to get to know this guy. Once I got a better view of him, I quickly checked out his ring finger. He was not wearing a ring! “Could this guy be the one?” I thought. The one I have been waiting to meet all day, all my life? Obi and his mystery friend started walking in our direction. Obi stopped to say hello to Queen, but he didn’t say a word to me. It was one time I was happy to be ignored. While Obi stopped to greet Queen, his friend continued walking right past us and headed straight for the food. For the rest of the night, Obi and his friend stood in a corner of the room eating and conversing with the other guests.

I remember staring at this guy, watching every move he made, while trying my best to be subtle about it. This guy was tall, the color of light brown sugar, and handsome. He was wearing a green plaid button-down shirt, a pair of khakis, and brown leather shoes. He also wore glasses, which I love. He looked like a nerd who kept his head in the books for hours on end. Which to me is sexy since I have a thing for smart men. He caught me looking at him a few times. He probably thought I was crazy. I just wanted to know his name, his age, and if he was already taken. As Queen and I remained seated on the couch, I hoped somehow he and I would be able to strike up a conversation. But with me being an introvert, and him being on the other side of the room, I did not see that happening.

Both Queen and I were tired and finally decided to leave. Before we left, we made our way over to Kim and Emmy to thank them and say our goodbyes. As we walked over to the door we passed by Obi and his friend. I thought maybe I would have enough guts to say something, but I did not. As Queen and I stood in the doorway putting on our coats, I gave this man one last stare. This time I wanted him to see me, and he did. But neither of us said anything. “I guess it was not meant to be,” I thought as we walked out the door.

Before I went back home for the evening, Queen and I drove to her place to hang out and talk about the party. Of course, the main topic was Obi’s mystery friend. I told her my thoughts about him and how I wish we could have talked. Then out of nowhere Queen said, “I forgot to get a slice of cake before we left.” Which at the moment seemed completely off topic. “Oh, yes, we completely forgot about dessert,” I replied. “I am going to text Kim now and ask her to hold a slice for me. And while I’m at it, I am going to ask her to find out who Obi’s friend is for you,” said Queen. I gave Queen a hesitant look. I wanted to give her the okay, but I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to come off as desperate. But I also did not want to regret passing up this opportunity. So, with that, I gave Queen the okay to relay the message.

I woke up around 9 a.m. the following morning. I rolled over and checked my phone to see if I had any new notifications. Sure enough, I did. It was a message from Queen. I remember smiling so big and giggling like a little child as I read her text. I could not believe what I was reading. “Is this a dream?” I thought to myself. The message read, “Good morning, Naomi. Kim was able to get Obi’s friend’s phone number for you. He said it was okay for you to contact him. This is his number. By the way, his name is Chinedu.” I immediately replied back with a thank you. I was overjoyed!

I sat up in bed staring at my phone. I had so many questions running through my head. What time should I contact him? Does he remember what I look like? What if he is too young? Should I call or should I text? I sat on my bed in silence, frozen and nervous. I decided to text him right away. I didn’t want to give him time to forget about me. I grabbed my phone and began composing a text message. Unsure of what to say, I rewrote the text at least four times before sending it. I made sure to keep the message as simple as possible. I introduced myself, reminded him who I was at the party, and asked him how his morning was going so far. My heart was racing as I hit the send button.

Fifteen minutes later, I received a text alert. It was him! From that moment on we spent the next few days getting to know each other through text messages. In that time, I learned that Chinedu was five years younger than me. Typically, I would never date a guy younger than me. But as I started getting to know him, I could discern a maturity about him. He was also born and raised in Nigeria and had moved to the U.S. two years prior. In his home country, he was a medical doctor and his dream was to continue practicing in the states.

Within one week, we went from text messaging, to phone calls, and eventually to video calls. Video calls were my favorite. He made it a point to call me every night after meeting with his study group. As soon as we saw each other’s faces pop up on the screen, we immediately started smiling. Our smiles stayed until we hung up the phone. I liked him and he liked me. Everything was going great! By now I was anxious to see him in person, hoping he would ask me out on a first date. It had been almost two weeks since we started talking. I could not help but think back to that Sunday in December. I recalled those seven words I spoke that morning, “I’m going to meet my husband today.” On that day I met Chinedu, and now only one question remains. Did I meet my husband?