Dating : For some reason I’m unable to highlight the three types, so I’ll highlight the best. :)

For some reason I’m unable to highlight the three types, so I’ll highlight the best. 🙂

I was an Avoider living with an Aggressor — how AWFUL is THAT. I’ve since taught myself that if I’m ever to be in a happy relationship (and I had one shot left), then I would have to learn, FORCE myself, to be an Engager.

Mission accomplished — I now refuse to sweep problems under the rug, and my Mr. Right feels the same. We’ve only had two minor tiffs in our first almost-3 months (11 weeks today!) and we discussed them fully right up front, then put the issues to bed permanently.

I cannot stress the relief that open communication provides — it’s a full liberation of the heart, resulting in a much deeper trust. It’s comforting to know that we will meet issues head on without the explosions and stonewalling of the past. (The mountain of crap under the rug was enormous.)

And I fully agree about discussing important issues before committing to them. Case in point, I’ve been offered a giant horse of a dog, but before I accepted him, I discussed it with Mr. Right, because eventually we will be sharing the same roof. And because an additional pet will bring additional responsibilities which will impact the relationship, however slightly. (He knows the dog, which helps.)

Thanks for this sparkling essay, Gillian. I was meandering through Medium and this twinkled like a tiny diamond on the beach. And knowing that I’ve finally found my Mr. Right, I still couldn’t resist. You are spot on, gf! 🙂