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Dating : How Relationship Memes Can Derail a Relationship

h2>Dating : How Relationship Memes Can Derail a Relationship

If they are shared passive-aggressively to condemn the actions of your partner, there can be a price to pay.

The Good Men Project
Photo credit: Shutterstock

By Dyanne Brown

I love Memes.

I search for all kinds of memes and share them all day long. Some are funny. Some are wise and some impart therapeutic messages.

Not all memes are created equal.

Some can be harmful because the messages are designed to elicit a negative response or to paint a situation in a negative light. One or two memes don’t say much about your mindset, but sharing the same type of meme all day can start to send the signal of your mindset or make someone think that you are sharing your ideology.

Whenever a celebrity couple announces a breakup or divorce, my timeline is flooded with memes skewed either to support the female perspective or male perspective. Then, within the comments section begins a battle of the sexes with each side delivering passionate arguments why the opposite was wrong. This goes for several days and then it dies down until the next relationship meets its demise.

Or, when someone is experiencing a relationship difficulty, they began posting cryptic messages via their social media designed to either evoke people to ask questions or to catch the attention of the person they are upset with. They are subliminal messages.

Celebrities often do this and the gossip blogs go crazy with speculation. Regular people do it leading their friends and family members to console them and develop negative thoughts toward their partner or spouse.

There is nothing wrong with sharing relationship memes or sharing inspirational memes.

However, if they are shared passive-aggressively to condemn the actions of your partner, there can be a price to pay.

While you may get an emotional payoff from venting or feel like you have avenged yourself for an embarrassment you experienced at the hands of your partner, once you put it into public opinion you cannot control what happens.

People can take your admission and become a frenzied mob ready to attack your partner while you were only mildly annoyed with their behavior. Relationship memes trigger the reader’s relationship wounds and they won’t be reacting to your situation but unleashing their own suppressed pain onto the target you have placed on your partner.

The other backlash that can occur is if you and your partner resolve the issue and are back to having a harmonious relationship, you may forget what happened, but no one else will. They may hold what you have forgiven against your relationship.

The next time you go on a rant against your partner, you may face the negative reactions of people who hadn’t forgiven your partner for the last time, but this time they will be directed to you for staying with the person.

Another way it can mess up your relationship is to undermine trust between you and your partner. If you go to social media to pummel your partner’s reputation, even passive-aggressively, they won’t trust you to protect them, the relationship, or even consider their feelings when you are hurt or wronged. They may walk on eggshells around you, check out completely or stop discussing things with you that they think you can’t handle.

Your reaction will damage the intimacy in the relationship. No one wants to feel attacked on a world stage when there is no way they can defend themselves. You control the narrative and have labeled them the bad guy without revealing your role in the problem. It’s also among your friends and fans. There is no way they can win. It’s easier to not play.

Often, their non-reaction is then judged part of the problem when really it’s their public dragging that creates the cold, detached reaction.

Women are often guilty of this. I have even made the mistake of doing this until my partner brought it to my attention. But, anyone is capable of wielding their timeline as if they are a politician seeking votes while planting seeds in the mind of their base.

The healthier option is to keep your relationship issues off of social media and instead discuss them in your relationship with your partner. When I feel itchy to share a relationship meme and my inner-self knows that I’m hoping someone will see it, I stop myself and don’t share it. I recognize that I’m looking for validation, maybe because I’m feeling unheard by my partner. But, my problem is with the person and I have to choose to maturely resolve it in a way that won’t further damage the relationship.

Instead, I may watch cat videos or listen to sad songs until I calm down and feel ready to discuss my feelings.

This story was previously published on The Good Men Project.

Read also  Dating : When You Meet Someone, What Is That Initial Spark?!

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