Dating : I Want To Grow But My Partner Doesn’t

A relationship consists of many things. However, the biggest mistake that people make is hoping that nothing will change. You’re hoping that your partner will accept you for who you were in the beginning. You’ve established your relationship and were convinced that the hard part was over but in actuality, the hard part was just beginning.

The reason your partner became your partner in the first place is because you seen a solid, potential relationship with them. They were “perfect” for you. The ideal partner that you imagined. But what happens when your relationship has reached its potential?

New Requirements

Like a job, policies and requirements change frequently. When the change occurs, everyone must adapt to it and when they don’t follow the rules, they are offered several warnings. After the warnings, they are eventually terminated. Keep note that following the rules is a choice and not a force. The same goes for relationships. You’re shifting into a new person. Your requirements and standards are changing. You seek growth. The “person” that was accepted in the past has now expired. Where’s the “new” you?

Be Vocal About What You Want

Communication and comprehension has always been the key to long-lasting relationships. There is no crime in being vocal when it comes to your needs and wants. And if you feel like your voice is being silenced, then you may want to think the overall relationship.

Prepare For the Results

What you’re requesting may not be fulfilled. You may be left with disappointment, so don’t expect anything for the outcome. Enter the conversation with ease and understanding that it’s also hard on your partner. People get comfortable in relationships and forget about the growth that it’s supposed to come with. Remember, you can’t stay the same forever.

Accepting the Change

You’re expressing to your partner that you want to expand your mind and experience in many ways. You’re also telling your partner that they have a choice to grow with you or be complacent without you. That’s okay. Whether you are the one doing the telling or the one listening, this conversation is for the benefit of both of you. A lot of times, relationships just don’t work. You can’t carry out what your partner is requesting or you refuse to be held back by your partner. Either or is okay, just be honest about it. You’re honestly doing each other a favor in the long run.

Be Okay With Walking Away

My first real relationship ended after three years of being together. The relationship ended because I refused to grow and I was limiting his potential as an individual. My attitude became horrible and I couldn’t build up enough courage to better myself in the way that my partner was bettering himself. My partner eventually gave me an ultimatum. He explained that if I didn’t change, then he would leave. And he did.

Although it felt like my heart was completely ripped out of my chest, I finally came to grips with myself. I understood that I was holding him back from his growth.

Walk away from relationships that make you feel anchored. It’s really okay.