h2>Dating : Life Lesson Snippets 10: Waiting For ‘Spring’ to Come
Life isn’t always about falling in love
“The trouble is not that I am single and likely to stay single, but that I am lonely and likely to stay lonely.”
We have all been there. Single, lonely and yearning for love. As another romantic film or novel ends, or we find ourselves watching one of those cheesy, yet addictive dating shows, you might realise halfway through once the coupling up happens that you are in fact uncoupled. When this happens you might sigh, or watch them in envy/admiration, wishing you too would taste the sweet supposed nectar of love.
In Western society specifically, there seems to be this addiction with love, and the idea that it is the be-all and end-all of our existence. Admittedly, I have even referred to myself as a ‘wallflower’ in a past post, and addressed my feelings of inexperience in life, including in love. Despite all of these ideas that are literally shoved down our throats, not all of us are in a relationship, and I would argue that sometimes it is for the best!
“Being single is definitely better than being with the wrong person”
What if we are the best versions of ourselves more so when we are single, than when we are attached to another?
Or, what if we aren’t very good at it, and do better with companionship?
There is also a third, slightly darker path/reason that can be taken/used.
What if our purpose in life involves us remaining single? Or, what if we are just unlucky, and despite our best efforts, may never find love?
“Some hearts weren’t meant to grow wings and fly to another to find [a] nest. Some hearts are made to be kept within the ribbed cage it came, glowing as a bright candle in the curve, radiantly wholesome of oneself.”
Go on then, grab a cheeky glass of wine. (Or, some grape juice if you prefer.)
I have recently come to terms with the fact that I am fine with being alone, or at least, comfortable enough in myself to not feel lonely when by myself (most of the time). This does not mean that I will never try to date or prevent myself from falling in love, but at the same time, I have decided to finally enjoy being alive and see where it takes me. That way, if I am one of the unlucky ones, or someone not cut out for romantic relationships, then I should be able to cope with this realisation.
“Life is so beautiful when you have someone to share it with.
But it’s more beautiful when you find happiness in yourself while alone.”
Having said all of this, I am a complete romantic at heart, and love seeing love flourish. Having romance stories as a guilty pleasure as well as a genuine genre of interest is probably not helping my ‘happy being single’ campaign, but through this journey called life I have come to realise that the most important love in this world is self-love. For without it, regardless of our successfulness in loving ours, we would not be able to do it at all.
Now that my sense of self-worth and purpose is not tied up with ‘finding love’ or ‘the one’ or anyone at all, I see this sense of freedom and fearlessness. I am no longer bound by these rules and regulations, and whatever is to be in the future, I am excited either way!
I guess learning to love myself taught me the biggest lesson about love overall.
“I think we are going to have to love ourselves. Fuck.”