Dating : Life’s Too Short to Not Be Pansexual

So why bother calling myself Pansexual if I’m in a relationship with a man or a woman? Couldn’t I just call myself Straight or Lesbian then?

No. Because I’m still Pan. I’m still attracted to people regardless of their gender.

I don’t know if you know this, but attraction to other people doesn’t actually go away when you’re in a committed relationship. You just decide not to act on it because you’ve got a perfectly fantastic person at home who loves you and is your best friend. Your relationship with them is built on much more than attraction. It’s built on trust and memories and loyalty and time spent and words exchanged and mutual growth and being a team.

When you’re in a relationship like that, you know that the attraction you feel towards someone else could never outweigh the attraction of keeping that relationship together. Laughing a little too loudly at someone’s jokes or finding yourself glancing at their body can’t break up your relationship, only your decision to take it further than that can. (And, obviously, try not to stare at anyone’s body. That’s super rude to both parties.)

I think a lot of couples would benefit from talking openly about this stuff to each other. It would certainly avoid some jealousy situations.

It took me years and years to come to terms with these strange feelings. It took me even longer to get the nerve up to come out to my friends and family. Along the way, I went through a lot of anxiety and self-hatred, but I also met a lot of wonderful, brave people who went through their own journeys first and showed me the way.

In fact, I’m not sure I ever would have come out to my extended family if my cousin hadn’t had the courage to do it first. I got to go to her wedding and watch how the family treated her and her new wife. To my surprise and immense relief… they were fine. It was going to be ok.

Oh god, I’m getting teary just thinking about how grateful I am to her.

I’m proud to be a part of the LGBTQIA community because it’s the kindest, most accepting community I’ve ever been a part of. Everyone has gone through similar self-doubt, everyone has been knocked down or hurt or bullied or rejected, everyone has had to find the strength within themselves to defy societal expectations and be who they are, and to love who they love.

When I look into the eyes of another person in the LGBTQIA community, no matter our differences, I feel a sense of companionship. And I feel a duty to be myself, completely and openly. Not just for my own peace of mind, but for them. So that they know they’re not alone.

Bella Thorne stepped up to the plate when she came out on Good Morning America. She’s 21 years old. There are people younger and older than her, who are still grappling with their identities, who are going to see that video and find themselves one step closer to self-acceptance.

…So long as none of them scroll down to the comments under the video, it’ll be a really beautiful moment for them.