Dating : Lost in the Dream

I was floating. My body was lighter than air — no longer burdened by loneliness and denial. My eyes were closed, but it wasn’t dark. Behind my eyelids was a warm glow, and for the first time in my life, I was enveloped in complete and impenetrable peace.

I opened my eyes. High above me was a cloudless, white sky. There was no sun, but rather, the sky itself emitted a soft glow, like a white-hot ember.

I was lying on my back in a field of lilies swaying lightly in the breeze. I sat up and attempted to rub the confusion out of my eyes. In the distance was a city of glass. A silvery river flowed into one end of the city and out the other. Glittering towers stretched into the sky, shimmering like quartz.

The glowing sky struck dull rainbows from their glassy surfaces. It was a beautiful sight, and very strange.

“Well, are you just going to sit there?” I turned and saw a man dressed in a black suit staring down at me with dark green eyes.

“Aren’t you hot wearing that suit?” I asked.

“No,” the man said.

“Are you hot?” the man asked.

“Yes,” I said. I was always hot; it seemed I could never escape the heat. It radiated from the pavement, buildings, and car exhausts; it was there when I went to bed and greeted me first thing when I woke up.

“You’re lying,” said the man.

I opened my mouth to retort and then closed it when I realized the man was right. For the first time in months, I wasn’t hot. I was perfectly comfortable, and each time I began to feel even the faintest trace of heat the breeze picked up and I was fine again.

It was like the Earth was listening to me. I proceeded to gently lift myself off the ground.

“Are you God?” I asked.

“Do you think I am?” the man said.

“I’m not sure. I’m never sure” I said.

“What’s your name then?” I asked.

“You can call me anything you want,” he said.

“Well my name is James, but I go by Jim for short.”

“I know,” he replied. The man then turned and began walking towards the city.

Not knowing what else to do, I followed. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t panicking. Instead, a wave of calmness had washed over me.

“Where am I, Sir?” I asked. He didn’t reply, just continued walking towards the shining glass towers.

After what seemed like hours, we finally reached the city where there was a small crowd waiting for us. The faces looked vaguely familiar, but I could not pinpoint how I knew these people.

They were standing in what seemed to be a park at the city’s entrance. Glass benches were scattered around the outskirts of the park, and a few people were sitting.

There were no roads, only narrow, worn dirt paths that wound their way through the glass towers. Beautiful, white flowers that I had never seen before sprung up in random patches.

I had originally thought the glass structures were buildings, but after seeing them up close I noticed they were flat, paper-thin sheets of glass that climbed into the sky.

They looked too modern for the natural landscape and too perfect to be manmade.

“Alright, someone please tell me what’s going on, right now!” I shouted.

Just then one of the glass towers burst with color, and images flashed across the surface like a giant movie screen.

A man was sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands, while a woman and a young girl were in the family room on a wooden bench in front of what looked like a piano. They must be my parents and my sister. I had never seen them so young.

“We can’t afford to have another kid,” my Dad muttered to himself. “We’re lucky to send one kid to school.”

“We’ll make it work,” my Mom said as she drifted into the kitchen. “Maybe a baby is exactly what we need,” she said.

I ran towards the glass tower. I wanted to help. As soon as I reached the tower, a flash of lightning went off leaving me staring through clear glass.

“Goddammit!” my Dad shouted. He picked up a glass from the table and hurled it at the wall. At the same time, a crack of thunder left me surrounded by a thousand shards of glass.

A few yards away, another glass surface rippled with color and images filled the screen. I moved closer to get a better look. A hospital room was filled with doctors and nurses who stood beside a convulsing body, as a machine was feeding a controlled amount of electricity into the person’s temples.

It was me. I was looking down at myself. Upon my discovery, the man said, Goodbye, Jim. And remember, you have to love yourself before you can love others.” As soon as he finished the sentence, my eyes were blinded and a deafening roar turned into a rapid beeping noise.

I inhaled sharply and regained consciousness. I opened my eyes and was met with Dr. Gilman’s gaze as she instructed me to relax and not move. In my peripheral, I could see that the beeping sound was coming from the heart rate monitor I was hooked up to.

As my breathing settled with the beating of my heart, I snapped back into reality and was immediately overcome by the scent of lavender. I was reawakened with a new sense of purpose.