Dating : Love is Simple, it Encompasses Everything That Exists When the Heart is Open

Love. Love. Love.

It’s the thing that we most desire. We want it. We want to feel loved. We want the people we love to love us back. Because we expect love to be reciprocal.

But is demonstration and reciprocity the recipe for love?

I have been thinking about love a lot lately. I recently talked about it with my sister-friends. The conversation expanded my definition of love. But the more I sit with it the more I realize that love is not as complicated as it seems.

Love is simple… it’s everything that exists when the heart is open.

When the heart is open there is tenderness, kindness, compassion, tolerance, and acceptance. And when the heart is closed, there isn’t. My new found definition of love has prompted me to look at my relationships. To see when I am loving and when I’m not.

Love is not a blanket. You may be loving in one area and unloving in another.

And if I’m honest, there are some areas that I am anything but loving. I sometimes forget that people are human like me. There have been times when I have been generous with my heart and found myself disappointed.

I do not collect people.

When I allow someone into my world, I try not to take their presence for granted. I share my whole self, flaws and all.

I am saddened when friendships end. My heart aches when romance is interrupted. And it makes me physically ill when there is betrayal in my family.

Before now, those things would cause me to rescind my love. Although traces of love would remain in my words, my heart would slam shut, and cast out whoever caused me pain.

But that is not love… and closing my heart does not hurt anyone but me.

It is possible to keep my heart open while walking away. I can accept reality with an open heart, and move on. I can speak the truth, feel anger, and let it be… with my heart open wide.

The closing of the heart is instinctive. Us humans, we shy away from pain and discomfort. And heartbreak hurts like hell, so we close down.

But in shutting down we often take our love back. We act as if it was never as intense. We rewrite history to tone down the enormity of our love. Because if we remember the bigness, we fear that our pain will be too BIG to bear.

So rather than shutting down, I am choosing discernment. I will keep my heart open, but I will be selective about who I let in. I will be present in my body so that I can feel the truth. I will not shrink or hide from love. I will not try to protect my heart. But I will be more present.

And if I should find myself loving someone who is just passing through, I will allow it.

I will love them the best that I can, for however long it lasts. Then I will set them free. Because open hearts do not bind…. and love is intended to liberate.