Dating : Men, What Does Pursuing a Woman Really Look Like?

How To Stand Out and Keep the Girl of Your Dreams

I get it. When you hear the word “pursuit,” your mind may instantly jump to drive-in movie theaters, sock hop dances, perms, and guys who wore button-up shirts, tucked in with a belt.

“Pursuit” can sound like an old-timey word, like something meant for a romance novel, one where the hero overcomes difficult but tangible obstacles in order to prove his affection to the heroine who keeps pushing him away while secretly wishing that he would keep pursuing her. “Pursuit” wins out and the couple rides off into the sunset to their house that the hero built with his own two hands.

Or, maybe the word “pursuit” hits a little closer to home for you. Maybe when you hear it, you think of the months you spent liking someone and working to position yourself just right so that they may notice you and hopefully like you back. Maybe you think of the months of conversations, the dates and the dinners, the constant DTR’s (“define the relationship” conversations, for those of you not from the Midwest).

To pursue is old-fashioned. Our parents’ parents knew what the word meant. It also often defines a period of seeking out a potential relationship. I pursued my now wife for close to a year before she let me take her on a date. But before I was married, I tended to think that was all pursuit meant. Now that I’ve been married for almost 5 years, I can confidently say that pursuit is something that never goes away.

If you are a husband and you want to love your wife well, you have to continue to pursue her. You have to pursue her daily, in the ways that she feels pursued, and you have to pursue her purposefully.

Here are some truths I’ve learned about pursuit that any guy in any relationship can apply to their lives.