Dating : Myths on Dating Agencies

In each layer of society, at all times, people understood that there is just small chance to meet a person accidentally and even if they do, it is rare and not enough. That people need to crate to opportunities for dating and that people must use any possible way to find love. Imagine that not so long ago there were no dating sites, it was impossible to give ads in Newspapers and even more so there were no dating agencies!…

Attitudes towards these services are changing dramatically. Most believe that dating agencies are doing a very necessary and useful thing, helping to find love and create a family, get rid of loneliness. However, others are saying that it’s unnatural!

MYTH #1. IT IS A SHAME TO CONTACT THE DATING AGENCY

Once in my office, a girl of 28 years told me that she felt “so a shamed” to come here. At the same time, I knew that she had a profile on a popular dating site. So I have asked: “where, in your opinion, you would not be ashamed to meet with a man? The answer was: “Ah, in cafes, in restaurant, I don’t know.” So some women in some place take on all a bottle of champagne and all evening honestly pretend that they came here “to drink tea”, and the men there, honestly pretend that believe them. A familiar situation? Putting your photos in a swimsuit, in the best angle and minimum clothes for everyone — it is not a shame, but to talk with an understanding and professional person who is able to solve your problem — it is a shame. Paradox?! Unfortunately, such a strange setup is very common.

Today, in serious agencies, as a rule, you will be questioned by professional psychologies, who not only help you and understand you, but also know the rules of confidentiality. They will listen, understand, advise, and explain. You come at the appointed time, no queues and unnecessary witnesses. Everything is confidential, and if it is necessary to show a passport, it is only for safety reasons.

Still you may be confused by the idea that suddenly someone from your friends or acquaintance might find out. Yes, unfortunately, not everyone has good sense of tact.

First of all, it is not necessary to inform others about the details of your personal life.

Secondly, in such cases it is important for yourself to take the right position. After all, there is nothing more natural than the desire to meet someone close to you, create a family and give birth to children. However, if suddenly, someone will allow himself/herself phrases like: “Oh, can’t you find someone by yourself?” Calmly answer: “Of course, I can, and I use all the opportunities to do it. By the way, I would not mind if you would introduce me to someone.”

MYTH #2. THE PEOPLE WITH SOME SORT OF DISABILITIES REFER TO DATING AGENCIES

At the first telephone conversation, I sometimes hear the question: “And are normal people turning?” My usual answer is: “You do think you’re a normal person, don’t you?”

Yes, there is the idea in some people’s mind that the fact of referring to “the matchmakers”, it is the recognition that something is wrong. However, ladies and gentlemen, if you have a toothache, you go to the dentist. If you need any literature, you go to the public library. A dating agency is just a place where information of a certain quality is collected. And you pay to be able to use it. That is all, just like that. That is the way to treat it.

Eventually, we notice that our circle of communication has narrowed, and new people in the environment appear very rarely do not appear at all. This happens regardless of age and your qualities. The same routes, home-work-shop. You can have many contacts, but they are fleeting, superficial and do not give the opportunity to know a person better. Of course, you would not ask everyone about marital status, presences, number of children, education, etc. Sure the older we get the more seriously we take the choice of the intended couple. This is an undeniable advantage in working with a marriage agency. As, for example, this is the request from the 37–year-old businessman: “2 years ago I got divorced.

There are girls at work, but I never mix work and personal life. On Fridays, my friends and I occasionally can sit in a bar. There I can easily chat up to anyone, invite her to my place, and in the morning go our separate ways. It goes without saying that I would never consider such a girl as a potential wife. About dating sites, I have heard from friends and do not want to waste my time on this dirt. I’d rather read a book. Moreover, I do not want my partners to be aware of my personal life. Each job must engage a professional. I come to a specialist who understands more than I do in this process voice the problem to him, pay and get the result…” I must note that he got the desired result, but it took almost six months.

MYTH #3. THEY WILL NOT FIND THE RIGHT PERSON FOR ME

Often I am asked the question: “How realistic is it to get someone through the Agency?” Working for 10 years in this field, I claim that meeting, growing into a serious relationship and marriage — it is quite common working situation. Any Agency, focused on long-term existence, are interested in the effective dating and does everything so there were as many happy couples as possible. After all, the most effective advertising is the word of mouth.

However, everyone must understand that we are not magicians. We exist in the same reality and can’t change the demographic situation, and there are fewer men in the world. Moreover, out of them we remove all that are already married, and these who is not suitable for marriage (drinkers, drug addicts, etc.) The remaining ones should also strive for stable relations, and not to “one night stand” and come to the agency, and choose you, and not some other beautiful, intelligent and no less worthy woman. Accordingly, the database can’t be many.

According to my statistics, on average, there are 30–35% of men who attend to agencies, but the female base tends to gather, which is not the same to men base. Because men are offered such a large chose, if man is nice (he knows what he wants, in the normal psycho-emotional condition, prosperous in the social sense), there is a high probability that he leaves into the relationship very quickly.

If you are somewhere sad that there are very large databases of single men, I advise you to treat this information with skepticism. Personally, I have a logical question: “How they are recruited and why not getting anywhere?” After all, with a large database, a man, as a rule, can quite quickly meet the desired pair. The large database of men can be, for example, if the agency does not limit the validity of the contract by any time, calling it — “working to the end result.” So the client pays once and uses the database to death. In this case, the profiles will show a lot, but among them, there will be a large number of “dead souls”, those for whom this topic is no longer relevant, with non-working phone numbers, outdated information, etc. If you do not pay for yourself, it means that someone will get profit from you selling your phone for everyone (and your consent will not interest anybody).

Still have the value of your own circumstances, settings, and the adequacy of claims. Yes, you should have clear understanding of “what do you want”. However, “I want” and “I can” are different concepts. The more restrictions you specify in the questionnaire, the fewer the options. Listen to the advice of a specialist in the interview, do not neglect his practical experience. Evaluate a person in the complex of all the information, not by individual criteria, if they are not so fundamentally important to you.

Your psychological readiness for new relations is also very important. If you have not closed the door to a past relationship, or you are depressed and emotionally exhausted, if you expect a new person to make you happy — your chances are not great. In addition in such mood, you simply have nothing to offer him. Do you need other people’s problems? Are you ready to drag someone out from their depression and be their rebound? The same way other people do not need yours. For starters, we become happy by ourselves and want to share with you the joy of being, immediately added.

MYTH #4. MOST DATING AGENCIES ARE SCAMS

Of course, as in any other sphere, there are always people who use this service as one of the “honest ways to withdraw money from the population.” The new agencies are constantly opening and constantly disappearing, realizing that it is not so simple to work in this business. However, gentlemen, you are mostly clever, educated and “advanced” people. If you do not receive your copy of the contract and the document on payment for services, it is likely that eventually you will be deceived, or the agency will simply disappear. There are several principles of work, and you are free to decidewhat to choose for yourself.

Carefully read the clauses of the contract before signing it, ask in detail about the principles of work and they should be reflected in the contract, check existing database, etc. I would have reacted with doubt to the point where you guarantee any result. For example, within a month they give you a number of dates, with the appropriate parameters. Well, it is impossible! My close friend, living in London, paid a total of 20 thousand pounds to the Dating Agency. Under the contract, she was to give at least 5 options per month with the agreed qualities (social status, financial status, age, height, etc). The agency did manage to do the quantify the conditions, but quality criteria — no. When she asked me if what she really wanted was real, I said “no”, explaining clearly why.

It’s certainly your right, but do not expect us to implement your not viable idealized fantasies.

MYTH # 5. DATING AGENCIES SEND SURROGATES TO THE DATES

Many years ago, at the very beginning of my career, one 30-year-old outwardly attractive blonde with a bunch of complexes, accused me of the fact that she have been on a date “set up groom”, who did not want to communicate with her further. OK, let’s see: “He came in an expensive car, gave you flowers, paid for fancy restaurant, and drove you home. It is all worth 2 times what you paid for the agency. At the same time, I have to pay for the “fake fiancé” time he spent in your company and still have to earn something myself… where is logic here?”

It’s easier to blame someone for their own failures than to admit that something is wrong with themselves. Although, if you paid a significant amount (as my friend, then such situation is possible).

MYTH #6. THERE ARE A LOT OF NEGATIVE REVIEWS ABOUT DATING AGENCIES

Journalists often propos to me make a video write an article about happy unions. In my archive I have a thick folder with questionnaires of happy couples. We can pack fully more than one kindergarten with kids born from our couples. I would be very happy to satisfy the desire of the media and make for our agency great advertising… But, for over 10 years of my work, not even couple has not agreed for a public interview. And, despite the fact that I am naturally offended by this fact, I can understand them. Few people will want to put their private lives on display. Happy couples also leave feedback, however, they are much less of them because they are busy with each other, their joyful worries. And that’s great, that’s what we’re working for.

Negative reviews are usually written by two categories of people:- customers, with a certain personality structure, how need to high up their confidence in this way, and often competitors-colleagues (this is on their conscience).

If you choose an agency and meet a negative review on it, it makes sense to pay attention to such aspects.

1. It’s shape and content. If the review is not constructive, and has a rich emotional tone, without specifying the facts, it is likely to be not constructing accusations.

2. Is there a response comment from the agency? The availability of reply suggests, that the agency values it’s reputation.

3. If there are a few negative reviews, you need to correlate frequency of reviews and the number of years dating agency is working. You can’t please everyone. Working with people is not easy and there always will be someone who was dissatisfied.

Rather just focus on the word of mouth and the opinion of people whom you personally trust and on whom opinion you can rely.

MYTH #7. TO ARRANGE YOUR PRIVATE LIFE, YOU NEED A LOT OF MONEY

Of course, the services of dating agency you need to pay like any other service and you need to understand that nothing costs more than something that’s fee. The price in Europe is about 2000 euro per month, and depends on many factors. Perhaps, there are other rates in agencies with a claim to “elite”, but a large price does not guarantee anything, as in the case of my London friend. Not always, cheap and cheerful and if expensive, does not mean that you will be justified. In addition, there may be discounts categories, such as pensioners. Using internet for dating is costs, perhaps, even more in a year than dating agencies.

MYTH #8. IF I CAN’T FIND SOMEONE IN REAL LIFE, THAN I CAN’T FIND ANYONE THROUGH THE AGENCY

The problem can be not only in opportunity to meet someone, but also in ability to interest the person and build a healthy relationship. You can have several diplomas and degrees and go down the same road over and over again. As the saying goes, “I’m actually smart, but sometimes I act like a fool.”

If you have any personal difficulties in communicating with the other sex, not even aware, if for you all the men are “scums”, “all women are the same” and there are no one who worth you, then individual work with a psychologist will help you identify the problems and clear your head.

Making acquaintance with help of the agency is easier. Contacts happen to people who initially seek to create a family, unlike people with whom you communicate in daily life. In addition, you will be presented to the appropriate candidates, in special way, so you can see the qualities that you would not visible in average communication.

All people have the right to privacy and family happiness. Our task, irrespective of circumstances of the person, to present reliable information about him, makes the correct accents. Different thing can be told in a different way. For example, one client complained that women often loose interest in him when he says that he is a driver. I’m presenting this information, saying that he has his own truck and he is working for himself, which in fact was true, but produced quite a different impression.

Therefore, if you have difficulties with acquaintances in everyday life, acquaintance through the agency is your chance!

MYTH #9. ONLY LOSERS COME TO DATING AGENCY

This myth has no basis at all. The database can be represented by people of all kinds of professions, educational levels from secondary to scientific degrees, workers, officials, employees, managers of different levels, businessmen. In the questionnaire, your right to designate criteria, which are important for you in the choice of candidates. And we make sure your data matches the preferences of the partner you are choosing.

If you strive for personal happiness, you need to use all the available and tools. Acquaintance through the agency is one of the real options. “The perfect timing” likes when it is given a lot chances. Therefore, instead of thinking, do I need or don’t I need to do it just call, come, meet, arrange your personal life and be happy!

https://cupidtrust.com/blog/article/myths-on-dating-agencies