Dating : “Oh and personality is important too”

The question comes up for everyone in their lifetime — ‘Who do you normally go for?’, ‘What’s your ideal partner?’, or, the Love Island Classico of ‘What’s your type?’

For the majority of the time, the first things you picture in your head or say out loud to answer the question would be a description of how this person looks — ‘Taller, shorter, blonde, tanned, brunette, curvy, petite, tattoos, beards, all my exes were X’.

Then somewhere there’s an afterthought — ‘Oh and personality is important too’

I’ve always found this both comedic and tragic. Let me tell you sunshine, you won’t be sitting on that relationship counselling sofa, 2.5 kids and a disabled labrador later arguing about the way your partner looks!

You will be thinking how your partner makes you feel, why can’t they be kinder to you, show you more affection, listen to you more or muddling your way through the aftermath of an affair (which also has nothing to do with how anyone looks or doesn’t look)

Of course, relationship counselling may seem as if I am jumping the gun a little, but you are going to be committing to that person’s personality which will likely not change, unlike their looks which inevitably will. Amazing hair or a six-pack isn’t going to make arguments easier to navigate or communication any better.

Everyone thought Undateables Star, Richard, who had put an 8-mile radius restriction for his future partner was extreme, limiting and unachievable. However, many people’s perceived physical type (which is just the first requirement) is also up there with Richard’s 8 miles.

To flip it, not only is a packet of hair dye or some new clothes a hell of a lot cheaper than divorce but looks change and what you will be left with is two people sharing their lives together.

Of course, you need to be attracted to your partner and that is a subjective thing for everyone. However, rather than limiting yourself before you’ve even begun, pay closer attention to the P-word. Even more importantly think about your shared values, your life goals and shared perspectives as many of your future compromises, decisions and conversation will be based around this person.

So next time you are navigating your social media or dating apps, think about what’s genuinely important for you in a partner and loosen up on the height restrictions, dress code, hair colour or body type of your future beau.