Dating : Stories in Dating…over 50 (part 2)

Mr Blather: Hot/Cold and Here’s Why I Can’t Date You

This guy is just unbelievable. But it actually happened.

So I met this man — we’ll call him ‘Fred’ — on a very popular dating site. It’s the one where woman must contact the man first before anything proceeds. He seemed fairly good looking. His profile was funny and charming. So I sent him a message.

We clicked immediately. He was funny, opinionated, clever, it worked well. We chatted online and moved to phone. He was out doing errands so service was patchy, but he was fun to talk to so we persevered.

Finally we agreed to meet in person.

And then began the dithering.

Fred says oh no, he couldn’t meet me. I’m a single parent. (So is he.) We won’t have any time together.

Yes we would, I countered, if we make time. We live only 20 minutes apart. We’re both parents, so we understand commitments and demands on our time. We’re not likely to expect more than anyone can handle.

No, says Fred. No, no, he can’t do it. He’ll have to back out. In fact, he should stop dating altogether until his daughter is older.

I’m like, well…okay…but I think we could make it work. Even if it’s just Netflix or a home cooked dinner, we could spend time.

Fred says yeah, maybe that would work.

And then he interrupts himself — No. No. That wouldn’t work. He is the full time parent here (his ex has issues) and he only has 2 nights off a week, 1 of which he uses to play football with mates. And he can’t and won’t give that up.

I’m thinking, of course not. Okay. Well. Okay fine. I understand.

But Fred’s still thinking (and talking). He really would like to meet me and go out with me. Could we make it work?

And he steps back again. No. No we definitely couldn’t. He should just stop dating, drop off the dating site and forget it for a few years.

Fred carries on with his argument-for-one. Well. Maybe he could date. Just not single mothers. SERIOUSLY he just ALWAYS attracts the wrong women.

I’m feeling rather unimpressed here. Yeah okay. Clearly I’m the ‘wrong kind of woman’.

Fred agrees with me. Yes, yes you are.

I’m like, okay, fine. Good luck then.

Fred’s not having it. No, I think I’m just going to stop dating altogether….

Cue screaming at my screen.

…

I finally blocked him. What else could I do??? I could not listen to this little monologue replay longer. (Because he was really talking to himself, or else he was talking AT me rather than to me.)

WHEW! What relief when that was done!

Cut to today.

I had joined a local FB dating group a few weeks ago, and guess who was there! I thought I’d gone unnoticed, under his radar, but NO, he saw me. And sent me a message on Messenger.

Fred is like, Hey, didn’t we chat on a dating site?

I’m rolling my eyes but I say Yes. (I then explain what happened.)

Fred agrees with me saying he’d told me I was the ‘wrong kind of woman’. Yes. Yes. I do attract the wrong kind of women.

I tell him, This is not appropriate to discuss with me.

He tries to phone me. I decline the call.

He texts to ask, what’s going on? Why can’t he discuss this?

I explain that it’s BECAUSE he had told me I’m the wrong kind of woman.

Fred now disagrees. No. He had said it wouldn’t work out.

I am NOT DOING THIS AGAIN. REGARDLESS of who said what, it’s not appropriate for him to go into this with me. AGAIN. So. Good luck.

Fred tries to be kind. Yes….you too….you are lovely though….I wish my daughter was older….

GOOD LORD. <facepalm> /BLOCK