Dating : The 13th day, “Terhva” [Short Story]

A few days after a horrific accident, Shikha & Amit are grieving over the death of their two year old son, but there is a bigger shock in store for the couple…

13 days back, Amish, barely two years old, was taken away to the heavenly abodes after fighting for his life. He was hit by a speeding car when he ran onto the road to grab his favorite ball. Shikha and Amit, Amish’s parents, are devasted & numb. Amish, their only child, was born after many years and attempts. Becoming parents in their 40s with the birth of Amish, was an unimaginable joy and inexplicable source of happiness.

Shikha had been relatively stronger through the 13-day journey post Amish’s passing, as are most women, Amit continued to be in limbo, monosyllabic in his responses and barely moving a muscle on his face. While both Amit and Shikha were not particularly religious, they were compelled to follow all the rituals through the 13 days of Hindu mourning. The devout will say these rituals enable the passing of the soul to the heavenly abodes, the practical ones will at least in part admit that the rituals help in the acceptance of death.

After all rituals for on the 13th day, the relatives started heading out to give the grieving couple their space. As Shikha brought some water for Amit, it was almost the first words he spoke in a while

“Why did you let him go out?”

Shikha dumbfounded at the question, and at the tenor in which it was put to her, “You think I let him go outside the gate? He just ran. And I can’t forgive myself for letting him run outside onto the road like that.”

You didn’t answer my question Shikha “Why did you not keep an eye on him?”. Shikha realizing that maybe Amit is not feeling perfectly well — “Amit, let’s talk about this later. Why don’t you get some rest — you’ve had a long day”.

“No, I want to know why you were so careless about Amish, about me, about us, about everything. You’ve never cared for anything and anybody else but yourself”. Shikha shocked again — “Amit this is not fair. Can’t you see I’m grieving here as well — I’m the mother, this is as tough for me as it is for you.”

Amit standing up from where he was sitting “I kept quiet all these days and years. I’ve been tolerating you, your antics, your attitude, your shortcomings”

“My shortcomings?” — Shikha standing up — “What do you mean my shortcomings?”

“Oh, you very well know what I’m talking about. We had to go to every freaking doctor in the country to get you treated for us to become parents. And you made it so difficult for me. Each time, I had to beg and plead with you to seek medical advice, and…”

“and what Amit?”

“..it almost felt like you didn’t want a child. And that also explains your careless parenting and how absolutely did not care for Amish”

Shikha shouting and sobbing now “Oh that’s bullshit now Amit. That’s a lie and you know you don’t mean it”

“Oh yeah? Tell me — did you or did you not resist seeking medical help to become a mother? Tell me…” Amit now moving towards Shikha “Tell me Shikha… did you not make me beg you to meet doctors? Did you not throw your medication away into the bin for months? You didn’t want to become a mother did you?” Amit now breaking down into tears and falling onto a chair.

Shikha taking in all that Amit had said, thinking hard. Amit now with a great deal of clarity — “It all adds up Shikha. You didn’t want to be the mother of my child. And you just saw Amish as a responsibility, and not as your child. Tell me — is that not true? You hated me and wanted to put me down — just so that you can get one up on me”

Shikha now bursting with anger “Stop it Amit! Stop it. You want to know the truth? The truth is that the world is not about you. The truth is that you were the one who always to prove you’re superior, that you’re better and bigger. And you want to know why I tiptoed around those so-called ‘medications’ & ‘visits to doctors’? Because there was nothing wrong with me. The problem was with you.”

Amit in disbelief smiles at Shikha

Shikha retorts “Oh you don’t believe me. You know what, I had thought this will never come out, but now that it’s come to it.” Shikha calms down and grabs a seat next to Amit. “I told your parents about all the tests and that you can’t become a father. They just couldn’t accept it. They just couldn’t accept that their son was ‘inferior’. They tried to convince me that the problem was with me and not with you”

Amit now in shock and starting to listen intently

“I suggested to your parents that we could adopt a child, but then that would have like been telling the whole world about your ‘impotence’”. Amit now in shock — “I don’t believe this — why did you not tell me then? You mean to say in so many years you didn’t even think about discussing this with me even once?”

“I wanted to tell you about it then as well — but again your parents’ words would ring in my ears each time. They did not want you to get to know about your problems at any cost. When I think of it now — I feel so stupid”

“So Amish? Amish is not our son?”

Shikha now feeling for Amit and trying to be as polite as she can

“He is not your son”