Dating : The age of digital dating

How my view of it changed when I was single

I thought only super introverted people used dating sites. However w,hen I recently became single I realized how hard it was to meet people. I also realized that I am also very introverted thus making me fit into the box I placed people who use online dating sites.

It started on a lonely night when I was reminiscing about how much I missed being in a relationship; the focus being on how badly I needed sex. It was 6 months and your girl was getting way too friendly with her hands. But due to my previous abusive relationship I, just ended with a man I knew I wasn’t ready for a relationship with another one. I was open to exploring and who knows I was so young maybe this was really who I was. I also was more open to meeting women rather than men. So on began the search for the best dating app for women. The number one choice if you can guess was bumble! I’ve only ever heard of tinder and eharmony but boy was I ever going to enter into a whole new world.

I consolidated with a co-worker whom like myself was also struggling with the single life. He convinced me to try it and helped me set up my profile and on began the search for single women. Nothing could prepare me for what happened next.

I was swiping through girls I thought I’d like and getting matched here and there. I made sure to put my radius within a reasonable limit so that it would force myself out of my bubble and meet people. I talked to many girls and I can honestly say that I missed talking to someone. Due to my past I got rid of my social circles and was completely alone when I ended my relationship.

A crazy idea dawned upon my coworker. He wasn’t getting any luck — the both of us working for a financial company we were looking at stats. He wasn’t getting many swipes and wanted to see what it was like from a woman’s point of view. So I agreed to check out the guys on bumble purely for stats purpose. I was also curious to see if I still “had it” after being in a relationship for 4 years.

I got almost 400 swipes in the first ten minutes. On the women’s side it was at most 10 swipes in a matter of hours. I stayed on the men’s side for a while, and met a guy on it who is now my boyfriend and we’ve been together for almost 7 months now.

What I took away from dating sites

Conversations women vs. men:

With women the conversations were more meaningful and less “are you free tonight ;)”. The conversations with women (who weren’t on there for threesomes) went back and forth for days before we decided to “meet” [Side note: I never met any of the girls]. The conversations with men for the most part were all gross — another note: on bumble the women initiate the conversation so you don’t have 400 randoms messaging you. There were a few that were a little cheesy but cute, they didn’t jump to sex at all in their conversations. And after a few days of talking agreed to meet up. Another note: I didn’t meet any of the guys.

The importance of a bio:

Your first impression on someone is your profile picture and sometimes your bio. If it’s crafty enough to catch your attention or someone else’s it’s almost like a second chance at someone talking to you. I saw some pretty “meh” guys but their bios were interesting and that’s where I was able to pick out interesting conversation pieces to discuss. The bio also gave me insight into whether or not this person was worth talking to. It allowed me to see if we had similar interests.

Safety:

What I learned while talking to a lot of women about safety about meeting people was the importance of utilizing other social media platforms as almost like a “background check” to verify if the person you’re talking to is legit. Snapchat gave you an instant view of the person, almost like a FaceTime feel. Whereas Instagram allowed you to see a little more of what they were like amongst friends and more importantly their height! Another thing I learned was the use of “location” on these social media tools. Snapchat has the equivalent of friend finder, or a real time gps tracker. I used this when I met with a guy I had my co worker track my location and to be at my disposal that night if I needed help or felt like I was in trouble. I gave him my whereabouts and checked in with him periodically.

In conclusion, dating is hard when your in your mid twenties and work full time with the occasional overtime. Utilizing dating sites increase your chances of meeting some incredible people. Just be safe out there, and use your head before you go meet people. Utilize social media applications and communicate with others when you go out to meet people. So that if you do run into trouble you have people who have your back. If you do not feel comfortable- LEAVE RIGHT AWAY. Safety is first.

Have fun out there and be safe!