h2>Dating : The Art of Letting Go & Moving On (With a Q&A)
There are a lot of lessons out there for us, and even more we receive from our friends and family. But sometimes even the most intelligent person cannot learn until they have lived through the experience. We are only human. We make mistakes, we get caught up, and we cannot move on. It’s okay, really. But do not ignore the lesson life has thrown in your path. You owe it to yourself to be honest with yourself — your feelings, your experiences.
This is the art of letting go and moving on.
Q: Did you listen to your friends and family about the relationship you were in?
A: My best friends told me to walk away, my family told me to walk away, my brain told me to walk away but my heart still wanted to stick around. I knew better than to keep suffering just for the sake of trying to make it work, but I still kept trying.
Q: Why did you want to keep trying, and was it worth it?
A: Part of me wants to think I work so hard to make things work even when they aren’t meant to be because I failed at keeping a good relationship with my mother growing up. My parents failed at their marriage, and to this day I’ve felt like a failure in relationships. I held onto something that I knew wasn’t good for me because I hoped it would one day work out and I could sit there and be proud of myself for sticking through the hard times and finally making it. I’ve always taken pride in being determined and committed to follow through with anything until the end. It’s the type-A go-getter in me. When it comes to not letting go of a toxic relationship though, it’s no longer something to be prideful about.
Q: What made you finally let go?
A: It took a series of unfortunate and almost life-altering events to happen to me, one specifically, until it finally clicked in my head that it wasn’t worth it. I was putting my career, my relationships and my life on the line… all for the “hope” of making things work. And it’s not like it was even good when I was trying. I was constantly hurt, frustrated and emotionally drained.
Everyone knows that romantic relationships take work, but it should never be THAT hard. If you’re pouring all of your energy into just making it work, it’s just not worth your time because I promise it will only get harder from there on out. Now, plenty of times I thought these things to myself, but I never did anything about it. Probably because a part of me still wanted to make it work, really bad. I knew things were far from repairable months prior, but I kept thinking in the back of my mind maybe there is a chance.
Q: Letting go is the hardest part, so how did you finally “let go”?
A: So how did I finally let go? I had to sit with myself and really check in with what was going on in my heart and in my mind. Accept what I’m feeling and not ignore my emotions, but also remain realistic. You know that it’s over. You know it is never going to work and quite honestly, you shouldn’t want to keep trying because you are only setting yourself up for more hurt. For weeks you tried still be friendly and cordial, because you felt like you owed that to them even when they continued to manipulate you, control your emotions and control the way others saw you.
Q: What advice would you give someone to help them let go of the past?
A: Well, to put it simply, I’d say “You cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick.” Thinking this way, finally changing my mentality I was able to let go. It took a while but I was able to let go of what I thought should have been, but knew was never going to be.
Submitted anonymously.
