h2>Dating : The art of simulated hope
Online Dating — How to create
Part III
Five months after my initial subscription on major online dating sites, early 2019, I was, on a Saturday evening, writing on Medium, instead of being out on a date with Mr. Z (to be read as ‘Zee chosen one’).
I hear you saying ‘Really?’, ‘What is wrong with you?’ and ‘Still no dates?’ Echoing softly in my ears ‘You must be a very difficult girl’. Hearing my inner rebel warrior rapidly answering ‘No, you are not a difficult girl, you just want no bullshit in your life anymore!’
So, I had a couple of meetings from my new Meetup groups. So my IRL social life has picked up with three different groups. We meet to practice languages (French, English and Spanish). A second group is for cultural activities. In my third group, we discover underground microbreweries and pubs. I have to say Meetup has brought comfort to this entire online dating experience. Even though I do not consider Meetup as an online dating site. It still got me to meet actual people, exchange genuine conversations and most of all, took away all the dating stress within new potential relationships.
While waiting for my online subscriptions to end, I consulted them less and less, but when I did, I still was mostly laughing more than falling for any of their bullshit.
Top four of the past month’s fake matches:
Fourth position: The profile had no description and had the picture of a rug! Honestly, the rug’s appearance made me want to meet the person behind Tinder’s algorithm that matched us. Yes, I would like to know exactly what emanated from my profile to attract a rug? More specifically a blue and white striped rug! Unfortunately, I did not keep that picture, I should have…..LOL
Third position: eHarmony has matched me with a hotel bedroom. Yep not even a prince’s castle or a rich star’s suite. Nope, I was matched to a common, off-white-beige and brown common hotel bedroom. You don’t believe me, well, this one I kept the uncensored proof!
And OH how glad I was to know Mr. Bedroom Hotel and me were 100% compatible.
Mr. Bedroom Hotel profile was brief with:
· What I’m most Passionate about: Too much to mention
But hey, wait, Mr. Bedroom Hotel had more to offer me.
Yep two other pictures were waiting to satisfy this new found love curiosity.
As mesmerizing as the first you ask? Yep even more! So the second photo was of various free-running poultry and the third was of road tripping goats on the loose looking up, I presume, at Mr. Bedroom Hotel.
I am so sorry Mr. Bedroom Hotel, even if eHarmony thinks we are a 100% match for altruism (al·tru·ism: noun: the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others), physical intimacy (really?) and relationship values (yeah I like farm animals, but?) I will pass this match.
Altruism, in zoological terms, normally illustrates the behavior of an animal that benefits another at its own expense.
Yeah, that is exactly how I felt after crying of laughing from this last match.
Second position: Another eHarmony’s far-fetched matches was this time a little more classy. The 100% compatible match was with a bottle of wine. Yep! But wait, not any bottle of wine. I was honored with a 1989 Chateau Margaux!
Through my online searches, this bottle is listed roughly up to 1000$.
Yep this super lady is worth something…. LOL…..
Very good for my ego, but, no wine bottle will own me as a flashing crystal trinket.
First position: Mr. Nice Guy was kind and sent out several messages and he seemed like a potential match. But he completely disappeared and ghosted me once I refused to give him my cell number. He was moving in too fast anyway.
He wanted us to exchange once or twice on Hangout, then not wasting any time he wanted us to meet in person (while again physically in two different provinces) so that if we connected, I would meet his kids right away. Mr. Nice Guy was like boom, bam, please let’s like each other so I can get back to my ‘normal’ life.
He was using the fact that eHarmony had matched us and had classified us as a 100% match to convince me we were made for each other.
Yeah, but Mr. Nice Guy, in the same month, eHarmony had also sent me a 100% match with Mr. Bedroom Hotel (with irresistible free-running poultries and road tripping goats) and another 100% match with a 1989 Chateau Margaux wine bottle.
Mr. Nice Guy, I also received, in bonus, from Tinder, another 100% match of me and a blue and white striped rug!
I consider myself a very lucky girl to have lived such an intense months between the end of 2018 and early 2019 through eHarmony’s 100% matching algorithms! No, I am being sarcastic here…..LOL…. I payed monthly fees on online dating sites to entertain myself, I guess.
Yeah well, I think if I would have wanted to go out on a date (not even sure of that) I could have? But hey, not wanting to go on a date with any of these fake profiles matches is perfectly understandable. These matches were not very tempting and were a big turn off for me.
I want to give myself time to not rush into anything just to compensate for my fear of living alone.
This compromise for me is 100% not negotiable. No one will ever rush me in a relationship I don’t feel.
It needs to be a WOW situation which will totally destabilize me for no logical reason. And the wait for this gut feeling explosive chain reaction is worth waiting for.
I hope someday, a real and honest online dating site will exist for us — the genuine. This new site would emphasize true love soul searching seeking matches.
Offering and guaranteeing our compatibility matches result from 100% fool proof algorithms filtering out cheaters, players and fakers.
Francine Fallara 2020
Sean Youra, I discovered your article ‘Is Online Dating Bad for Our Mental Health?’ and it inspired me to share my pending ‘The art of simulated hope’ series.
Continued in “The art of simulated hope” — IV published tmr…
If you stumbled on III missing I and II….
