Dating : The Cherry Tree.

I was woken up by the sound of branches falling and a chainsaw devouring something. I dragged myself out of bed to look outside my window to find the source of the noise that disturbed my sleep. A man I’d never seen before having his way with my Cherry tree. I screamed at the top of my lungs and ran out of the house to go confront this murderous stranger.

His face was twisted and distorted, I tried to speak but my voice was stolen by fear. The very same fear then consumed me whole and before I knew it I was surrounded by blackness. I awoke the next morning or at least I think it was the next morning — it felt like forever in the blackness. I was tied to a chair in what used to be my bedroom, I couldn’t be in this room anymore. The walls just held too many memories, although good they just made me sad and hurt.

The twisted face man walked in the room, though his face had no eyes I could feel them take a peek into my soul. He untied my hands, and I know I should have been fearful but I felt calm and a peace I haven’t felt in a long time.

“It’s not Cherry, It’s Cypress,” he said. I was confused by his statement more than the fact that he could talk without no mouth. “Your tree.” He added.

My tree… I went by the window to see if it was still standing and it was as if nothing had ever touched it. It just stood there, brand new and bright. The twisted face man came and stood by my side. “You have to let it go,” he said.

I looked at him and looked back at the tree, “Please don’t make…” I responded. I felt his hand on my shoulder, so familiar… so warm.

I looked at him, and this time his face wasn’t twisted and distorted but it was clear and I could see it, I knew this face. It was the face of the one I shared this bedroom with, the one I had come to call my love. The tears that fell from my eyes were real, however, I knew he wasn’t because I buried him two years ago and I’ve been moving through time alone, lifeless without him.

The anger in me swelled, how dare he? Two years, a whole two years and he chose to visit me now? Why now?

“Why now?!” I yelled at him, he just smiled at me and it was like I had just been punched in my stomach, the pain hit and I fell to my knees. I tried to push the grief away but it pulled me back, like always and at this moment I remembered that I’ve been here before, this is how I see him. My dreams… I’m dreaming.

I woke up from the dream with renewed pain. Nobody ever tells you how violent loss can be. I thought I could work it out but I’ve realized that there’s nothing I could do but continue living in it, it is who I am now. It is all I have, the pain and your cherry tree.