h2>Dating : The only dating advice you will ever need
There’s a lot of dating advice out there that does not make sense to me
“Always make sure I’m the one to text him less, so if he sent me 2 texts, I send him one, and if he sent me one text, I send him one-word answer”
“If she’s getting distant then I just tell her that she’s being clingy and that I need space” “I have to always reverse psychology them”
“Here is a series of books for every possible scenario organized alphabetically by topic of discussion”
There’s articles and books and movies and blogs and videos all based purely on the concepts that there is a right way to date someone, that there is a correct combination of texts, words, and behaviors that will make someone fall in love with me without me losing my power.
I think this is bullshit. Don’t get me wrong. I admit that when I was 15, I could read Cosmo Politan and 17 magazines and follow their advice from a to z.
He’s gonna call me now
HE IS GONNA CALL ME NOW NOW
Now
*Phone ringing*
Counting 5 seconds, One, Two, Three, Four, Five
“Heeey, Ryan. Sorry, I was in the shower, What’s up?”
I realized that all of this advice is based on the flawed premise that love is a game and people are prizes to be won and when I would follow these rules and inevitably get to know a person better and become emotionally invested in them I would realize way too late that we’re not actually compatible.
I remember when I was 18 or early 20s I had a long conversation with my grandma where I was just confused and angry about love and marriage and dating. I just felt there were so many rules you had to follow. I had so much anxiety about doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing and she told me the only dating advice I will ever need is to just be yourself
That way if somebody falls in love with me then they are falling in love with ME not this idea that I’ve presented. It’s a lot of work to maintain an idea over a long period of time. It is quite easy to just be myself. Her advice is very simple and straightforward and really stuck with me. It is the only way to see who’s weirdness vibes with my weirdness because if I’m that kind of person who says whatever is on my mind, no matter how inappropriate or dark it is, my dates are either going to laugh and like it or they are gonna think it’s awkward and never call me again.
Either way, I didn’t hold back an aspect of my personality. I think it’s much better to just be upfront with who I am and what the other person is signing up for and if they like it ‘great’ and if they don’t ‘cool’ I move on and find somebody else. When I finally do, they will like me for ME. Instead of this carefully construct that I’ve spent so much time building for them.
