Dating : The Push

Let me be as concise as possible, as concise as any explanation can be for all of this. No small amount of shame will permeate this writing, to set the tone if anyone thinks I am proud anymore. My condition is fantastical and I wouldn’t blame anyone for disbelief. It can be a mean trick, it can provide comfort, it can confuse and conflate; it is as insidious as you make it.

I’ve made it many things, and through this it has become my master.

I am starting to romanticize which is the complete opposite of my intentions, so here is the bare truth:

I have an ability, a brain trick of sorts. I’ve always considered it a Thought Push, or eventually just the Push. The name is irrelevant as I have never told anyone. What it means is that I can push thoughts into other people’s heads for very finite amounts of time. The duration is anywhere from split seconds to half a minute, no more. I have no control over this- I took to wearing a watch and glancing at it constantly to see how long I’d been Pushing. I must have looked perpetually impatient.

Was it natural? Was it renegade genes all culminating in a random brain, the sum of some folly in man’s evolutionary ascendance?

I have no idea.

I’ve done some great things with the Push; I’ve also done some terribly unethical things.

Judge me as you will.

Time after time, I debated its usage and its place in the world. Using my condition seemed to be benevolent if utilized by a Good Person with Good Intentions, which I considered myself.

The road to Hell is paved with the likes of my failed peers and I.