Dating : The Types of Soulmates and Succeeding With Them All

How to Recognize a Soulmate outlines how to identify soulmates based on the Quran and example of our Prophetﷺ . Here, we dive into distinguishing those relationships, leveraging reciprocity and maintaining your own, original soul.

Like Hajj the “right time, right place” factor and the role soulmates play in evolving us, make the allure of soulmates hard to overstate. Whether it’s the the “aha” moments they bring, freedom from expectations, or the love found through them, success in soul-level partnerships is not only desirable but the definition of success for some.

Although broadly categorized as “platonic love,” or nonphysically based,[1] sensual relationships are soulmates most emphasized form. Like most things, ‘amor platonicus,’ titled in the fifteenth century by Marsilio Ficino,[2] existed on a conceptual level in early Egypt in the story of Isis and Osiris.[3] This ancient Egyptian story parallels the Quran’s depictions of Cain and Abel.

In all this, Islam tends to be the last thing that comes to mind when the average Joe thinks of love or soulmates. The afterword for Loveletters, Soulmates in The Quran and Prophetic Tradition, expanded that perception. This matters because love, unifies. Soulmates compliment one another in a bond that out stands all limitations including space and time.

The Prophetﷺ, God bless his soul and grant him peace, named everything from his camels to his drinking cup. Imam Fode elaborates on an understanding that everything from plants to mountains have souls.[4] As khalifahs (inheritors), our role is to recognize and care for creation in our possession, animate and inanimate. It is a sign of gratitude that, in turn will yield them lasting and valuable to this life and the next. This is success.

The most important soul-level agreement is that of your own, where love is the master key. Without that, it may be challenging to connect with any others. Those most commonly considered when discussing these relationships in the context of Quran and Prophetic Tradition can be broken down into three categories:

1. Soul companion(s)– those whose lives and purpose cross paths in an undeniable way. For Moses (God be pleased with him) these were his bani, or tribe. Jesus (God be pleased with him) had 12 close companions known as hawariyoon, the majority of them fishermen. God states about them in Quran:

“Then when Jesus came to know of [the Isrealites] disbelief, he said, ‘Who will be my helpers in God’s cause?’ Al-Hawariyoon (the disciples) replied, ‘We are the helpers of God; we believe in God, so bear witness that we submit to God’” (The Quran, The Table Spread, 3:52).

The Arabic translates to ‘those of White clothes,’ signifying to purify. The root hawrya has origins in Ethiopian meaning “to go,” signifying one that is sent.[5] They illustrate to us the best soul companions are those who support us in calling to oneness.

May God be pleased with them all.

2. Twin flame(s)– closely tied with the reality of Bayt al Mamur and zilla, those whose souls are passionately identical beyond mere serendipity. Not to be confused with codependency or mere passionately alike souls, this relationship is harder to put into words, as when it’s recognized, it’s undeniable. In other words, those who know, know.

3. Life Partner(s)– those soulmates, twin flames, or a combination thereof who were written to share this life as romantic partners, most often procreating. A prominent example exists in Sayyidina Khadijah, who certainly had more than business to offer The Prophetﷺ with 2 previous marriages under her belt… the qualifications for her kunya (nickname) “al Kubara” (The Great).

She was confident and assertive, evident in her proposal to him. She had a strong internal compass, even if she didn’t know better was coming, she accepted union and children before him. She still had standards as she rejected many eligible bachelors before The Prophetﷺ. The majority say she married him at 40 but some opinions say she was 25 as he was. Sayyidina Khadijah’s what we would call a billionaire today. She saw Truth through a test most fail: wealth.

Accepting, open minded and the first believer, she would hike long distances take food to him in his contemplation cave….sometimes with the kids. She also went with a cold bed weeks at a time. The warmth when he returned lit up the city.

Beyond building a home together, she WAS a home for the beloved of Allah. She gifted his only blood lineage through Sayyidina Fatima. The list goes on.

Aman asked the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, “When will the Hour be established O Allah’s Messenger?” The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ asked, “What have you prepared for it?” The man said, “I haven’t prepared for it much of prayers or fast or alms, but I love Allah and His Messenger.” The Prophet ﷺ said, “You will be with those who you love”

Because there’s no difference between present and future tense in Arabic, this also extends to mean “the person is with the one they love.” This may be a hard truth pill to swallow for the materially focused. For people of the heart it’s clearly a done deal.

Affirming this means releasing the need to control the partner of outcome because there is faith that regardless, a reunion is bound to happen. Moreover, there isn’t worry over the other’s destination and doings (read: compulsion). With a focus on bettering our own soul and seeking the pleasure of Allah and/or paradise we’ll inevitably be joined with our soul partner(s).

May God make us among the party of the beloved, our Prophet ﷺ.

Releasing Blockages:

Harmonizing relationships without loosing yourself requires discipline and focus on our own soul. It’s worthwhile to note potential blockages only because in a world dominated by cause and effect variety keeps us interested. We may be emotionally unavailable, co-dependently inclined, meet too soon, confuse lust with love, project or take on others emotions and thoughts and/or simply be written as soul friends but not life partners etc. The best way to stay in tune with the flow of your life trajectory is:

1. Set clear, firm intentions on Allah. Focusing on the limitless releases limitations painlessly. By frequently staying conscious of the expansive nature of The Creator, we become receptive to other, minor intents and stop illusions of “not enough, too late,” etc.

2. Release expectations.

“No compulsion is there in religion. Uprightness has already been clarified from from error” (Quran, The Cow 2:256).

This happens naturally in step one, however it is helpful to revisit on it’s own. We release expectations by identifying them whenever we feel tension over something that “should be,” and replacing the “should” with thankfulness for what is and even the possibility of more.

3. Listen to kashf (intuition). It is better to have no thought through meditation than to clutter the mind with forced “positivity.” Praying, making duaa etc are useful regardless, however the speed they occur is certainly more noticeable when receptive to our inner wisdom.

4. Be aware of tawfiq (synchronicity). Be careful of dismissing anything as “by chance.” There is no need to make a hoopla of it, just say alhamdulillah for any alignments in your intent and others as they occur. It is especially recommended to write them down from dreams and in waking states because sometimes they synchronicity may not become noticeable expect over long periods of time.

For seekers hoping to advance along the spiritual path, a guide/teacher can be considered a soulmate in the sense that their souls have been bound by bayah in the previous life and often this one. It is said “when the student is ready the teacher appears.” This principle most broadly applies to the universal soul, The Prophetﷺ, who represents the potential for a complete and Godly character in us all. Regardless of the type, we all have soulmates in our lives; even a single soulmate a lifetime is a blessing worth nine.

What soul agreements and partnerships are present in your life? Discuss below…

[1] “Platonic- purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of the opposite sex.” https://www.dictionary.com/browse/platonic

[2] De Amore, Les Belles Lettres, 2012.

[3] Albany Institute file:///C:/Users/M/Downloads/TheStoryofIsisandOsirisText%20of%20Story.pdf

[4] Rejuvenation of The Soul

[5] Selections from the Ḳur-án, Commonly Called, in England, the Koran: With With an Interwoven Commentary edited by Edward William Lane, George Sale, J. Madden, 1843.

[6] “The Prophet’s next beloved, A’ishah, recorded: ‘Although I had never met Khadijah, I was never more jealous of anyone than her.’ Once, when Khadijah’s sister Halah came to visit the Prophet (P.B.U.H), and called from outside for permission to enter, he trembled, being reminded of Khadijah, for the two sisters had very similar voices. ‘It must be Halah,’ he said. A’ishah said, ‘Why do you keep thinking of that elderly woman who has been dead for so long, when Allah has given you such good wives?’ ‘No, no, no,’ the Prophet (P.B.U.H) answered, ‘I was given no finer wife than he- She believed in me when everyone else believed me; when they denied me she became a Muslim; when no-one would help me, she was my help. I had my children from her.’ And he asserted, `Allah gave me my love for her.’ After that, A’ishah resolved never to take hurt from Khadijah’s memory. He grieved for her for a long time, and was eventually persuaded to take other wives by his friends, and especially by his aunt Khawlah, who was distressed to see him so sad and lonely” (The Muslim Marriage Guide, Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood).

[7] Sahih al-Bukhari 6168 Book 78, Hadith 194.

Maryam Miller (@soulmatesis) is the author of Loveletters, satire about soulmates.