Dating : TOP 10 ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR WOMEN

1. Put lots of pictures

In case you haven’t heard, men are visual. Perhaps you want to test men by putting a profile with no pics and seeing who approaches you, just based on what you post in your profile about your personality. It’s an interesting gamble, and it just might work, but at the same time, expect very few responses and those who do respond are likely to be highly desperate men who can’t get any of the women are actually posting pictures and figure they may have a better shot with you, because fewer pictures means fewer responses and less interest.

2. Smile

This should be obvious, but I keep seeing dating profiles for women with five or six pictures and they don’t look happy in a single picture. Who wants to have a relationship with someone who is serious, miserable and unhappy all the time? Not me.

3. Be aggressive

A lot of women try online dating and are quickly overwhelmed by the influx of messages that they struggle to keep up with. Here’s an idea: Ignore your slush pile, unless they look really intriguing, figure out who you’re really looking for and then search the data base and email those men who strike you as genuinely worthwhile and focus on conversations with them. You can be the searcher, instead of the searchee. Believe me, if the man finds you attractive, he will be more than happy you actually went out of your way to contact him!

4. Be concise

It’s a stereo-type that women love to talk and also that they love to talk about themselves. If you look at a lot of the female profiles on dating sites, there seems to be some truth to the rumors. The profile sections where women describe themselves and what they are looking for can tend to run pretty long.

Imagine things from the man’s perspective… If each woman has a full-page of single spaced text written about themselves and then women expect the men to have read it all in order to know who they are and what they’re looking for and write a personalized response, do you see how that can add up?

It means, just to approach 25 women, the guy has to invest the time and energy to read 25 pages about total strangers, without even knowing if there is any mutual interest. Now the type of guys that most women actually want to be with tend to be too busy leading a fulfilling and successful life, to want to read 25 pages on women they will probably never date, or talk to. You see the rub? (And yes, some guys are just too lazy to bother. )

So, this tip is…keep your intro relatively short and to the point and you’re likely to get more responses and more men actually reading it, because most successful men don’t have the time to read 50 pages every time they do an online dating search.

5. Avoid pot-hole pictures

You know that feeling when you’re driving down the road and suddenly you’re shaken and jarred awake when you hit a big pothole that makes you worry that your tire is going to explode?

Well, I guess it’s a female lack of good-taste, or poor self-assessment, but in looking at many profiles I’ve found that I often hit potholes. I’m often impressed with a woman’s looks initially, until I scroll through the first few photos and find one or two that makes her look so bad that I lose all interest immediately.

My suggestion would be that you get some second opinions about the photos you’re planning on posting, before you post them, because apparently there are some fairly attractive women out there who can’t tell when they look absolutely hideous. Ask your female friends. I’m sure they’ll be glad to tell you.

(And no, looks aren’t everything…but in online dating with most men at least, it usually is the gatekeeper to move on to the exploration of personalities)

6. Kissing animals

This is one of those things that women are in their own little world on. I’m assuming that other women would think that you kissing that dog, giraffe, cat, or gorilla is somehow cute, or attractive, and I’m not even sure about that much. Here’s what I can tell you from one man’s perspective.

I like animals. I don’t want to make out with them. I wanted to make out with you (maybe), until I saw you putting your lips, which I was thinking of kissing, on that animal’s lips, because animals like dogs (though I do love them), tend to stick their noses in poop and I don’t want to be kissing poop lips. If you want to do it, I consider that you’re problem.

(So now you probably think I hate animals, not true…I have loved several pets owned by women I’ve dated and they have loved me. It doesn’t mean, tonsil hockey with the pet is in the cards.)

So, you’re like, “What’s the big deal? I just really love my dog…I don’t even want a man who doesn’t love my dog. I posted the picture of me frenching my poodle, because he’s the center of my world!”

Um, that’s the other problem… most guys are looking for a woman with whom he can be the center of her world and vice-versa…if you’re showing that Fido’s always going to be #1, some guys are not going to want to come in as #2 behind a dog.

If you think this is ridiculous and it’s fine to kiss your pets on the mouth, consider this. You’re on a first date with a guy and you go to the bathroom and come back to find him on the couch, French kissing his rottwhiler. Is this okay with you?

Now you may argue that French-kissing is much more than the peck you give your dog. If you’re talking about increments of kissing with your pet, don’t you think something is amiss? If it was your husband and he gave a peck on the lips to his pretty co-worker, I’m pretty sure you’d be arguing that he shouldn’t kiss his co-worker on the lips, because that’s inappropriate. Hmm

Finally, online dating can be a scary and slightly anxiety provoking experience, yes, even for men. So what’s one thing that worries men? Diseases.

Do you think your would-be date, really wants to jump online and do research on what he might catch from some nutty chick who has been French-kissing a camel on her trip to Egypt?

7. Don’t Use Group photos

Group photos are cool! Group photos are fun! Not for a freaking main photo! You cause several potential problems when you post a group photo as a central profile pic.

First, who are you? We don’t know who you are! Do you know how freaking annoying it is to take the time to look through five profile pics of groups of people and try to figure out whose profile it is and then spend time thinking about who if any of those people you find attractive enough to want to date, even though you still don’t even know whose profile it is?

When I get to profiles that only post group photos, I assume the woman has low self-esteem, or is afraid to post pictures of herself alone. Either way, I see it as a substantial drawback, and instead of wasting my time trying to figure out who the girl in the profile is, I move on to the next. I figure, if you’re not smart enough to know that no one on Match.com is looking for groups, then I’m not dumb enough to waste my time.

8. Setting us up for disappointment

Going back to group photos again, okay, you and your bestie are hugging and are all smiles and that’s great! It shows you’re happy. It shows you’re social. It shows you have friends. But guess what, there’s a potential problem.

Often times, your friend is way better looking than you. So the guys are evaluating you beside your Greek Goddess bestie and they take an interest in her. When they sift through your three other group photos and figure out who is actually the common denominator in all the pics and then decide they’d rather date your friend, they’re going to keep looking for profile pics that look like her, not you.

9. Pace yourself

In our society it is expected that men approach the woman, further, guys are going nuts to try to have sex and/or find the right girl. Especially if you’re attractive, and perhaps even if you’re not, you’re going to be absolutely inundated with solicitations from men.

Don’t drive yourselves crazy. Just be courteous and do things on your own time. Guys that can’t be patient for responses may have a point, if you’re really slow to respond, but ultimately it’s also a good test to see if they’re likely to be patient with you in other areas, or not.

Online dating is a numbers game. Be prepared to spend a fair amount of time and energy and go through a large number of options, before you find your diamond. Just remember, every Mr. Wrong brings you closer to Mr. Right, and helps you better define who the person is that you’re really looking for.

10. Be honest

Apparently, simple “honesty,” is a huge problem with men online, but I’ve met women who blame online dating for this and shy away from online dating, because of the dishonesty. Unfortunately, “dishonesty” is not an online dating problem. It’s a problem with men in general, and even more sadly, with both genders.

So while men should hone up and be honest about their relationship status, their beer-belly, their lack of money, their lack of hair, or that their lack of interest in your pets, dancing, energy work, or yoga…ladies…it’s time for you to start being honest too!

I recently came across a Youtube video of an Asian women who did her make-up so that she looked exactly like Johnny Depp. Women, if you look like a completely different person with your make-up on, that may not be a good thing and might not be fair to your partner. The padded butts in jeans and the padded bras, those injected baboon lips, the boob jobs…

If you finally get to “The Big Night” and it’s the moment of truth and you take your jeans off and he wonders where your butt went and you take your bra off he wonders where your boobs went, doesn’t that seem kind of dishonest too? There’s something to be said for looking good. There is also something to be said for looking like you.

And while we’re talking about pictures, if your pics can be believed, in Colorado at least, it must be about 90% of you gals that are mountain climbing, yoga-master, hiking, paddle-boating, skiing gym-dogs, but honestly, I just don’t think it’s that many of you. I think you ladies are just posting pics to keep up with the Joneses.

And those few of you who post pics and list your interests as fishing, watching sports, and playing volleyball, I hope you’re being honest, because men are out there looking for you!

Unfortunately, lying is not a gender problem, it’s a human problem and it’s time we all stopped lying and got real with one another, so we can enjoy online dating and find that person we’ve been waiting for.

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