Dating : Anyone else think they’re too busy to date?
22M here. I work a full time job, five, sometimes six, days a week. After that, I have my own hobbies I like to do, and I have plenty of friends I like to hang out with too. At the end of it, I barely have time to go on dates. Sure, I could make time, but part of me is just tired and doesn’t even want to put in the effort.
Like I’d love a companion but it just seems like so much work for very little return on investment most of the time.
Anyone else feel this way?
I often feel like I don’t have time to dating but in reality, it’s more about organizing and dealing with my procrastination as I spend a lot of time on reddit or watching videos on youtube. Part of problem is that I am introvert being quite social in workplace so I usually just want to spend time alone after work.
> it just seems like so much work for very little return on investment most of the time
that part doesn’t resonate it me, putting effort is hard for me but I was rather satisfied with return on investment.
I think ultimately you always make time for the things that you care about. When my schedule was super loaded, I still made it an effort to see the two guys I was dating at the time at least once a week each, because I cared. And I felt I was getting something out of our relationships.
It just took great time management and creating a routine. Tuesday’s and Thursday’s were my date days and Sunday nights if I felt up for it. My friends and hobbies fell around that.
That was exactly my mentality until kind of recently. When I was in college and newly post-grad, I was soooo focused on my work and career because it fully fulfilled me (still does). I have great friends and a really busy life tbh so it never felt like I was missing anything. So whenever a hookup would start to cross the line of getting relationship-y or even close to it, I would run the other way. Cause I honestly didn’t know how to balance it and I didn’t like that it would distract me from my job/passions/social life.
I’m 25 now and sorta regretting this because all of my relationships have been super short and super casual. I don’t have any true experience having a significant other and now I feel like I’m really behind. And I’m at the age where it’s like half of my friends are either engaged, married, or having kids already!! So maybe try and push yourself a little, cause that’s what I’m trying to do now. Unless you don’t have any desire to get married or raise a family, etc. But maybe the right person hasn’t come along for either one of us to want make these compromises lol idk !! It’s tough tho for sure.
Most people aren’t « too busy, » they just want to do other things instead. Fine, but is also a strong chance that your hobbies will have a lower « return on investment » than finding yourself a good woman. Note: « going on dates » does not necessarily equal « finding yourself a good woman. »
It is difficult for me. I have A LOT of responsibilities and obligations. I have three children (16, 14, and 12)….All of whom have a special need. I also live with and take care of my mom who is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. No one requires 24 hour supervision….But I have my hands full. I also work a part-time job on the weekends. A lot of men find it difficult to understand why I can’t just meet up spontaneously…..Or why I don’t answer messages right away.
I’m 22F I feel like u wrote exactly what I was about to post on Reddit!! Yes dating could be so draining.. I’m looking for options and I have never actually dated anyone but I’m thinking about it.. just the whole thing sounds like u have to invest sooo much time and I really don’t have time for it. I have school and it takes up most of my time. The only reason why I actually get to ponder about it is because I have summer break now.. I just can’t seem to digest this whole dating thing.. too much effort..
I feel too busy for people to waste my time when doing online dating. My time is valuable and I don’t have the time for people to agree on a date then make lame excuses after we agreed on something hours before it’s supposed to happen. It’s mainly women who have been doing this to me.
100%, until a couple of days ago when I matched and started talking to a woman that is arguably the most physically attractive person I’ve ever matched with. I’m decidedly *un*busy for the next little while, until we either arrange a date or she loses interest.
26 i closed the door on women, all my time goes on to me now, i work as that makes me money.
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Stay busy. Dont stop your grind to date. If it comes it comes but it’s a bad investment to go out looking for a date.
I’m in the same position. On my day off work I like to spend it with friends and family. I don’t really do anything to put myself out there either. I’m trying OLD but it’s hard to give people a time of when I’m free since I work when most people are usually off. I’m literally just floating lol. It can get lonely sometimes but I don’t stress out over it and if I meet the right person great, if not I’ll continue to be great (:
Use the Meetup app or find social events going on in your city to go to, maybe have a buddy or two join you. It’s not dating but you can be social with buddies and meet new people. Maybe you’ll meet some singles and if not hopefully you’ll at least make some new acquaintances or friends. You never know where those kinds of connections can lead.
I feel this way. I work second shift so 3pm to 12am, and I work a lot of overtime so it realistically only leaves the weekend for me to do things. So that’s when get my haircut, play sports go grocery shopping and do laundry. I’ve found that I need to date people that live in my small city and can’t outside of that for that reason. Say I get done with work at midnight and they want to do something late. Takes me 15 mins to get home, then I have to shower and get ready and then drive to where ever. I had this happen with one girl a few times as she lived far away but we couldn’t keep doing it. I wouldn’t get to her place till 1:30am or later.
we all are, you still have to do it though.
Cause once your parents die, its hard to go through life without a companion once you get old. Unless you want to die alone.
Not really, if the right partner is found theyd fit into the timeline. And it’s always good to still have your own life anyway if you end up with a partner, that’s healthy.