Dating : “Were Threesomes The New Sexual Frontier?”

Episode eight. The age of the threesomes. Or at least for Carrie and her friends. There are threesomes everywhere. Everyone is either in one, talking about them, or fantasising about them. Either way, three’s a party in Manhattan.

The idea of the threesome doesn’t seem as controversial or between the sheets as it was when this episode aired.

The naughtiness of the threesome doesn’t seem to stack up quite to the Fifty Shades of Grey normalcy. What was controversial in this episode doesn’t seem so shocking. The world is less taken aback by the show’s liberal exploration of sex.

But the question is threesomes. Do they still exist now? In a pandemic ridden society?

Can we be so enlightened in the bedroom, with external parties, when we aren’t allowed to leave our homes?

“Threesomes are huge right now. They’re the blow job of the ‘90s.” — Samantha

Sex is like fashion. It comes and goes. Excuse the pun.

And what this episode highlights are the timeless nature of sexual experience trends. The way we explore physical contact through certain stages. And the exploration comes and goes, we seem to add more sexual experience to the repertoire.

But as threesomes denominated the 90’s, I can’t help but wonder what is fashion for sex in 2021? Or even for the last decade?

We’re a little more naked in the last decade. Fashion has pushed the boundaries of socially acceptable clothing. It seems to be a contest on Instagram of who can wear the least and get away with it. Who can put their sex out there and remain credible in the eyes of the judging world?

What seems to make mainstream media is the idea of sexual fluidity. People experimenting more with their sexuality, gender and identity.

t’s become more in-vogue to speak about gender identity and the struggles associated with it. We’re more open to conversation and willing to listen. We’re also navigating how this changes relationships. It’s less about romantic relationships and more about the way we approach the idea of sex.

And the idea of sex, we don’t limit the conversation to between a man and a woman. It’s more multifaceted as we become more multifaceted people. And it’s exciting to be apart of it.

In this episode, Miranda tests her abilities to be cast in a threesome play. Though her friends playfully reject her in their hypothetical fantasies, Miranda seeks validation. She explores whether a threesome is an option for her. And as we learn, a contemporary couple would include her in their fantasies with open arms.

As I watched Miranda meet the pair, I thought about our life today. The way we live confined in our homes, taking extreme precautions to complete even the basics of life. We’re building a fear of the unknown, of a disease we can’t see, and it’s spreading to the people around us.

We less trusting of strangers in a bar. We’re more fearful of continuing this strange lifestyle than we are of everything else that could happen. It isn’t the usual fear of rejection or awkward sexual exploration in the bedroom with a complete stranger. It’s more about what could happen if we catch the virus.

There isn’t a law against threesomes now. But there is a restriction on how we’re allowed to socialise with each other. If we can’t share a glass of wine together standing in the middle of a field, how can we have threesomes?

“Doing it in an aeroplane bathroom”

When Charlotte is asked about her fantasies, her boyfriend is hinting at threesomes. But he mentions other cliche fantasies to stimulate Charlotte’s conservative mind. He mentions the common fantasy of sex in an aeroplane bathroom.

Like much of this episode, I wondered how that would work in 2021.

Would you still have to wear your mask as you attempt the impossible? Are we worried about getting caught, or catching the virus? Is it even possible to fantasise about sex mid-flight when we’re fantasising about flying?

I’m starting to think some of our fantasies are shifting. The idea of the sexy nurse or policeman coming to the door is marred by their tireless and stressful workplace. It’s far less sexy covered head to toe in PPE. The fantasy isn’t so alluring as it once was, unfortunately.

Surely other fantasies that involve leaving the home, or exploring the great outdoors with your pants around your ankles, are taboo. Perhaps we need to be more creative with our sexual desires. Maybe we need to get better at seeing our insular world as more erotic than it is.

Where this episode hasn’t stood the test of time is in the two cliches it pushes, both about married men. There’s the man cheating on his wife, and then wanting to leave his wife for the mistress. Though Samantha’s response isn’t the cliche, the portrayal of her situation has been done to death.

The second cliche is the new girlfriend stalking the ex of her new lover. When Carrie loses her cool and meets Big’s ex-wife, it’s far from a new narrative. Whilst this moment doesn’t endear us to Carrie, it perpetuates that outdated stereotype about women and jealousy.

That women are jealous of their partner’s ex and resort to underhanded tactics to relieve their feelings. It’s not exactly the female empowerment we hope for in the series.

These plots lines may not have been cliche at the time. But now it wouldn’t pass the interest of a more educated and demanding television audience.

We’ve seen this plotline before. We know this plotline, inside and out. There aren’t many ways it can improve, so we’re looking for a new one. Anything to rebuke the stereotypical problems we’ve heard before.

Would the show address threesomes now? As the show matured, we see less of these topics come to the surface. It becomes more about the narrative of the character’s lives and the events shaping their future. It’s less about the sexual politics of Manhattan.

I wonder if the reboot will return to its roots and address the modern-day sexual agenda. Or will we see another saga unfold about Carrie, Big and everyone’s inability to maintain relationships?

We will have to wait and see.