Dating : When Condoms in a Committed Relationship are Necessary

h2>Dating : When Condoms in a Committed Relationship are Necessary

Kiana Danielle
Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

I’m hesitant to ask my boyfriend to start wearing condoms again. But, it’s going to have to happen.

I became sexually active at twenty-two. Despite my age, I lacked quite a bit of sexual wisdom. Not only on how to give and receive pleasure but on how to properly protect me and my future.

My virginity acted as a barrier between my boyfriend and me in our beginning days. Every time he attempted to push himself in me my body seemed to reject his like an ill-timed Litmus test. I was starting to worry that it was some sort of sign, but alas, the only thing it was telling me was that I needed to chill out. Story of my life.

One night, we’d made the heat of the moment decision to venture outside of our usual oral activities. And, I’m sure you can guess how that ended. We’d been fooling around without any actual penetration for weeks.

Our moment ended with a sobering trip to the pharmacy to buy (the impressively expensive) Plan B pill. The next day I started researching birth control options. I opted for a discreet online service that prescribed me the patch. And so, our journey into unprotected sex began. Except, I still had a ton of qualms. None of which I addressed with him, but decided to take straight to the internet.

My boyfriend had never been tested and I’m definitely not his first

I immediately went to the doctor, freaking out about our condomless sex. Which was silly since I should have already been on alert since oral can spread disease all the same.

I told them to test me for everything. I wanted no stone left unturned. After a few swabs and days, I learned that I was in the clear. We had a conversation about ridding of condoms once my birth control I arrived. I agreed to do so without any push back because it seemed like something he was really interested in doing.

When I asked him about his sexual health he said he wasn’t sure but was willing to get tested if it’d make me feel better. It would have. But, I told him it was fine. Why? Well, I didn’t want him to feel like I didn’t trust him.

It was stupid and till this day I’m not sure of his status. Of course, nothing terrible has happened in the two years we’ve been together. But, my meekness and fear of appearing like I was accusing him of something put my health at risk. And that was never okay.

Photo by from Pexels

His semen stings like hell

Often, when my boyfriend attempts to place the head of his penis into my vagina I’ll feel a burning sensation that will make me sharply suck in air and pull back. I try to still look sexy while covering my burning vulva with my hand in sheer agony.

“It stings?” He asked during our first attempt, and pulled away, looking confused.

It was the first time he’d experience something like that with a woman. His confusion made me scared, and once again, I was back in the doctor’s office with my worry. She noted my high PH balance and prescribed me some pills that treated bacterial vaginosis. Bacterial vaginosis is a type of inflammation that happens when there’s an overgrowth of bacteria that’s naturally found in the vagina. Trust me, it feels even worse than it sounds.

The pills didn’t help much and after a few Google searches, I concluded I was suffering from both bacterial vaginosis and a semen allergy. Yes, it sounds weird. But, when our sex routine didn’t include him climaxing inside of me, I felt fine. Whenever he wore condoms, I felt fine.

I’m on the pill now and have already forgotten a few doses

The patch was perfect for my life. It incorporated into my schedule without a problem. While the pill is something I took once I forgot about for a few days before realizing I’d left the pack at my boyfriend’s apartment. But, because I’m waiting for my employer’s health insurance to kick in I’m stuck with the $15 pill packs. Cause my brand (I used Xulane) is a whopping $120 per month. Your girl makes $16 an hour so that’s a big no.

Sure, alarms help, but it bothers me to think that if I continually fail to be on time with my dose my risk of pregnancy increases by an impressive margin. I’m in no position to bear children. My depression has caused me a saddened weight loss. I live in a one-bedroom apartment with four family members. And it’s rare if I have enough to put into my savings.

Going back to condoms won’t erase my irresponsible past. But, it will help me live a safer and more comfortable future. The boyfriend will be disappointed, to say the least. But, health and the ability to have all-around more enjoyable sex will be worth it. Condoms are about to give me some serious peace of mind and serious opportunities to enjoy the process of climaxing. Both of which are very necessary and very worth it.

What do you think?

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