Dating : When Mai Threw the Train Away

Mai told her son James, 4, that if he did that one more time she would throw away his brand new train set.

You’ve been here before. You aren’t surprised that James did whatever he did one more time because, if nothing else, a 4-year-old knows ultimatums are meant to be challenged.

Every parent has navigated this uncomfortable turn of events, in a moment of passion we threaten a punishment we aren’t ready to see through. Most parents recoil. My friend Mai isn’t like most parents.

She slipped into the back room before reappearing with that train and a handful of its wooden tracks. She stared down her 4-year old and held the prized toy high in the air for all to see. She opened the trash can with its fancy flip-top and without reserve dropped that train in the can.

Thump.

When James screams, the bookshelf wobbles. When James throws a tantrum, the neighborhood knows about it. When James heard that thump, all he could do is protest in agony because he lost the duel that day.

I don’t know what every other parent in that over-crowded apartment was thinking, but I was overcome with admiration for a parent who did exactly what they said they were going to do. This insignificant moment altered in a small way how I have approached everyday life from that point forward.

Don’t threaten if not committed.

Give warning. Be fair. Act swiftly.

Was it James’ 4th birthday? Sure. Did James just unwrap that train set that his mom just tossed? Unfortunately. Will James think twice before he challenges mom’s ultimatum? For the sake of his future train building endeavors, I hope so.