Dating : You’re Doing It Wrong

h2>Dating : You’re Doing It Wrong

Or maybe not. Why are you asking?

Paula Mould

As a mentor and teacher, I see this one thing so often: people afraid of showing up with their work because they think they’re doing something wrong.

That they need permission to be who they are called to be.

When I first stretched my wings doing encaustic art, my creative self was incredibly fragile. Encaustic, a that involves painting with hot wax, wasn’t something that came to me as easily as breathing the way other disciplines did. I had to take courses and even then, once released back to my studio, I was unsure. None of the courses were certifications; I had no exam to take or diploma that showed my qualifications.

And in my sacred, private studio space, I played and created. Imagined my work in the world. But the act of actually sharing it was a whole other ball game.

I didn’t know if I was good enough.

I didn’t know if I was doing it right.

I didn’t know if I could call myself the artist that I actually was.

I was waiting for someone to tell me I was doing it wrong, or, better yet, that I was doing it right.

But in the game of art, there is no permission to be had. And if you’re self taught, no education credentials to wave about. Hell, I have education credentials but waving them about didn’t help much because everyone leaves school feeling like it ended too soon.

Here’s the thing, the only thing you need to know, if you’re called to create then create. The act of brush to canvas, pencil to paper or whatever , has made you into an artist.

Here’s another thing, the internet is full of dicks. If someone comes by, comments on your stuff unfavourably, delete and block. Then move on. Who cares? Would you trust a perfect stranger to say something negative about your kid or friend? No? Then they have no authority over you.

Look, I’ve dealt with trolls. Oh god, I was so terrified of getting my first troll but when it happened it was actually amazing. My work had gone beyond my safe circle of friends and family and stepped out into the world! And trolls? They want to knock you down, argue with you and stop you; it’s how they feel better. Like they have impact. Not responding drives them crazy.

If you must respond, do so in the most Canadian way ever and tell them you’re sorry their knickers are on too tight. Wish them a better day, hope their heart can be found. Then block.

People will always fill the gap if you leave it there. The one that happens when you show up uncertain. And they may not fill that gap with kindness, or permission. They may throw bags of shit in it.

Why assume that you’re doing anything wrong? Why assume you need permission?

You were called to create. You are supposed to create. Step into your place and do so.

And if you were waiting for a sign of your worthiness to be the person you’re supposed to be, this is it.

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