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He ‘s laughing at my face ? How do you know if a man is playing with you?

He 's laughing at my face ?  How do you know if a man is playing with you?

He ‘s laughing at my face ? How do you know if a man is playing with you?

You’ve already been cooing with Jean-Mi for three months. You would like to feel fulfilled and sing about your happiness like Mariah Carey, but something is missing: you are not at peace, you feel it, Jean-Mi is not on the same wavelength that you, and that suits him …

First thing to know: in love, three scenarios are possible

He cares about you and tells you / proves it:

Symptoms : you don’t ask yourself any questions. You are calm and have no doubts about the feelings of your loved one. You have no qualms about calling her, even if it’s to ask her what kind of PQ is best for her butt. You also don’t need to call your girlfriends for a special crisis meeting to text her back. Besides, as a general rule, you don’t need the advice of your girlfriends to manage your relationship with him. If a problem arises between you, you settle to two to force communication. Because Jean-Mi doesn’t want to let a failure to exchange damage your relationship. He is open and willing to listen to you.

He doesn’t care about you and doesn’t stay.

Symptoms : He is not or no longer there. Easy. Painful but honest. There is no point in resenting a man who does not care for you. Save your time and energy for your future wooing.

He doesn’t care about you but does everything to cover it up

Symptoms : They are the subject of this article. Be careful, I am not questioning your intelligence, but love (in women as in men, not one kind to catch up with the other) makes us develop an extraordinary faculty to find excuses for Jean- Mi and deny the obvious. We all had to reason with a friend about the lack of respect for her partner. We displayed treasures of diplomacy to explain to her that the José she’s been having sex with for two months is in fact a licensed muzzle, and we dreamed of yelling in his face « BUT HE DOESN’T FOUUUUUUT! » It’s a crazy bastard to remember the color of your eyes when he is able to name all your panties in the order of presentation in your panty drawer! « 

Don’t be that girl. Spare your friends a nervous breakdown. Open your eyes and pay attention to the following signs …

Sign number 1: He plays a lot on words and paraphrases:

I will (for a change) tell you a little bit about my life.

A long time ago I was dating a lovely young man we’ll call Hubert. Hubert was as handsome as a musical singer and we got along very well. We laughed a lot and were very close… But two things bothered me deeply:

-He never told me he loved me

-He panicked as soon as I mentioned a possible future together. So, YES, I see coming « Yeah but you girls, you think that in the engagement, there is not only the future in the life all that ». What I understand, of course … But after a year, the idea of ​​letting me sleep at his place for more than three nights paralyzed him. So I decided to separate myself from him. And the maneuver would have been less difficult if he hadn’t tried to put my brain to sleep the day I came to collect my things:

-I don’t want this separation … He told me, with tremolos in his voice

– I love you, you are the right man for me, and, not right away, but in the future, I want to build a more concrete relationship. Do you think you can say the same?

And there, my Hubert launched into a monologue that even Proust would find too long (I am transcribing here a shortened and authentic version, I assure you)

-I… I know that I have strong feelings for you, and even if it is much too early to say, I do not rule out one day, perhaps, if we have managed to settle some disputes, to move our relationship towards something more successful, but understand that today, the future scares me, with you as with anyone and I am not yet in a position to say that you are the one with whom I would make my life or not, because I am not quite ready to envisage the future in a concrete way, but there it is, we are both good, and the real question is to know if we give each other a chance –Or not– to see what the future holds….

-Okay…. So this is your T-shirt, this is your briefs, and I even brought you your green sweatshirt, I stole it from you the other night and then this is …

-So it’s over? …

I got totally angry:

-I love you ! You are the one for me, and I want to project myself into the future with you! My intentions are in three sentences! What you just gave me is BARATIN! Looks like me when I’m in front of one of my clients (I was a salesperson at the time) and I don’t want to lie to them or tell them the truth. This is my job and I practice it better than you. So YEAH it’s over …

Two moralities to this story:

  • I really have a spirit and charisma when I get angry, it must be emphasized.
  • A sincere man gets straight to the point when it comes to his feelings. Because he absolutely does not want to leave you the slightest doubt about his love or his interest. It is the desire to see your relationship evolve that prompts him to state things clearly. Men have more or less consciously understood that a successful relationship is based on communication. A man who communicates poorly or does not communicate well does not care enough for your relationship.

Today, Hubert and I get along very well, and last week he confessed to me:

-My friends told me that I should have been lying to you…

It is possible and that is already seen. But here too, you can identify the manipulations and not let yourself go. Which is a great transition for the next sign:

Sign number 2: His actions and his words are not in adequacy:

Of course, it can happen that a man is clumsy with the words of love (for example that he does not have the easy “I love you”) but his actions will be formal: He loves you. He calls you every day, sends you text messages for everything and for nothing, talks about you to his mother, and introduces her to you. He leaves you the keys to his house and you can pass without warning. This kind of inconsistency goes in the right direction, so it doesn’t matter… But the reverse is much more worrying. A man who is not afraid of words can be reassuring at first. Because an “I love you” is in itself akin to a commitment. But his actions must be the logical continuation of his statements.

Small example of the most frequent dissonances:

– He whines in unison with you on the pretext that he misses you. Indeed, you haven’t seen him for ten days and it’s starting to take a long time … But he doesn’t take the time to see you: Tonight, he sees these friends, tomorrow, he has a painting on Galet, Thursday he dines with mom, and Friday there is afterwork with colleagues. And then Saturday, he has to do his laundry, and then he’s a season behind Breaking Bad…. No, this man is not missing you. In all the activities I have just mentioned, some can be passed to the ace, unless he invites you to participate. But a man who loves you and needs to see you will put you first in his schedule. Even if his friends are bitching.

A man in love puts his partner above all or almost everything else. No “but” that holds.

And it’s not up to you to impose yourself. He won’t love you any more because he will see you more often. Take the frequency of your meetings as a sign and not as a subject for negotiation …

– He says he loves you, that you are the apple of his eye, the icing on his cake, the cheese of his Cheezy Crust… But makes no commitment. He is not ready to live with you, you have never crossed his family or his friends. He does not include you in his life, and does not make any concrete effort to do so. And if you point out the phenomenon to him, he invokes a whole bunch of external causes. :

-You understand, my apartment is not made to be a love nest, and my friends are all single, I don’t want to put my super little girlfriend under their noses, and my mother has Avian flu so that will be for another time. Too bad….

There is a saying “He who succeeds seeks a way, he who fails seeks an excuse”. This proverb is particularly loquacious in this case …

Morality: In case of dissonance between his actions and his words, privilege the actions.

This is also the general idea to apply in case of doubt. If you are not sure about yourself and Jean-Mi, there has to be a reason. Observation remains the best way to understand a situation …

Lula

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