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POF : I give up. This is the most depressing thing in life.

POF : I give up. This is the most depressing thing in life.


I’ve been on POF for a couple of months. I’ve sent maybe 30 messages to women who seemed interesting. Not one of them has replied.

Is this what it’s like for everybody? I have no idea if these women actually exist, or even read my message. A few of my sent messages seem to have disappeared. I presume the women have blocked me?

I think I need to give up. It brings no joy. I carefully craft messages that aren’t too long, and discuss things we seem to have in common. Do women get so many messages that they don’t have time to reply, or am I just too ugly for any woman to reply to?

I give up.


By. zzubnik_work

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16 Comments

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  1. Just give up mate POF is shitttttttttttt.

    (chances are those profiles you’ve messaged aren’t interested or probably haven’t even logged in in years…)

  2. I get replies, but 90% of the women whose respond just do so with one word responses. I’ll ask a bunch of interesting questions about stuff they put on their profile so we can get the conversation rolling, and they just answer like I’m a boss giving an interview for a job.

  3. POF used to be really good, they actually were better than match. I heard about them back in 2009 while on the T here in Boston. They had lots of ads so I tried them out. by 2010 I had a lot of dates and I met my ex on there. We lasted almost 2yrs but distance killed us. It was a great site up until about 2016. After 2016 was when it started to go downhill and bots started to really appear in the app. Now it is full of bots for not just guys but girls as well. You think the girl bots are bad, the guy bots are worse in the sense they pretend they are military men when they aren’t.

  4. Pof has been infested with scammers, frauds, and escorts. Since I have used pof I have noticed that girls are extremely picky. But that is with all dating apps. I think I am working on less than one percent of my messages actually reply to me

  5. Yeah that’s nothing. Girls get so many messages and can be very picky. Carefully crafting messages is a huge time sink, who knows when that girl will log back on or will even see the message. My friend showed me her inbox list of some dating app before and it was just spammed. I’d pick one or 2 things to ask about to start a conversation but I would say never get close to carefully crafting. You can think of something witty to say but I guess it just depends how much time you want to invest. It involves multiple factors before your message is even opened. But if a girl has gone as far as opening your message then your chances are good she will answer, maybe… You may just think of something funny/witty to say in every message. I am usually lazy and just say hi. I started talking to a cute girl on it recently and my first message I asked if she got in a fight with a kangaroo, who would win (she lived in aus).

  6. >couple months

    >30 messages

    Gotta pump those numbers up! Those are rookie numbers in this racket.

    But seriously, I had better luck with other sites.

  7. What do you expect? Maybe those 30 don’t find you attractive and don’t want to start anything, maybe they are fake accounts, maybe they are talking to someone else.

    Plus it’s a free site!

    I know how you feel but I also know I’m not a attractive male that women want, but keep trying or use a different app.

    Also depends what you say on your messages.

  8. I can relate. I gave up – my soul was crushed.. Then decided to try zoosk for a montn thinking a payed site might be more fruitful. I was right! I’m now engaged. If someone is Willing to spend a little money they’re more serious about this journey. In my opinion. It worked for me. Good luck !

  9. What kind of girls are you sending messages too and what are your messages like? If it’s just something like « hey » then it probably won’t elicit much of a response. Ideally you want to mention something from her profile to show that you’re genuinely interested. Also if you’re only messaging 10/10s but you’re only average looking yourself then again there’s your problem.

    At the end of the day it’s all a number’s game man. I message a lot of girls, even those who aren’t really that attractive and even with customised responses for each, I’d say I don’t ever hear back from more than 80% of them, and those that do reply usually have the personality of a rock. I was actually just about to delete my profile yesterday, but a girl reached out to me and she’s actually interested and quite cute.

    I’d say play around with your profile a bit, maybe upload some higher quality pics if you can, rewrite your bio and try to tweak the content of your messages a bit. Then just go on a frenzy and message like another 30 girls. If you still get nothing, then maybe you’re better off in a different app or IRL. Best of luck man! Its disheartening sometimes but there is potential in this highly broken and downright shit site if you can sift through all the garbage.

  10. I get women just outright blocking me if I say something along the lines of a genuine greeting like, “hi there! Came across your profile and it seems we have alot in common. Would love to chat with you and get to know you better. See if we click, then take it from there. If you’re interested.” Their bios always say they want a proper hello or come at them like a gentleman. But if i send cheesy pick up lines to them i get an actual reply. I dont get it

  11. I outright deleted all my dating apps. Its not worth. The girls have ridiculously high standards and some just want your money in exchange for sex or a car

  12. I get replies but women get bored of the conversation very quickly and stop replying by the 5th message or so.

    Sometimes they will keep chatting and flirting with me for much longer, all the way up until I ask to meet them in person and then they’re gone.

    Most of the women who reply (if they even do) seem to only want to chat online (or by text) and aren’t that serious about actually dating. Online dating is a waste of time. Better off meeting some one in person

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