POF : Men: Do you take online dating seriously by actively improving yourself and your profile?
If you have a complaint about the quantity and quality of women you attract,
**Have you considered:**
* Working out?
* Changing your diet?
* Modifying your clothes?
* Creating interesting photos?
* Being comfortable with who you DO match with?
* Looking for constructive criticism regarding your messaging?
Do you actively review your performance in online dating? I started Tinder last February, and I used to think it a hopeless endeavor. I haven’t even made that many great modifications since then, but I’ve been on dates from Tinder and POF since then and realize that my profile and approach was not up to par to begin with.
If you think women only go after a certain look, just modify your look. If you don’t want to modify anything, then at least keep an upbeat attitude about it.
Also consider that maybe some of the women you’re swiping left on are swiping right on you. *shrug*
By. kingacesuited
I joined POF because I have a very busy life and I get that some men may be hesitant to approach me IRL. What I’ve found are men with pictures of themselves in filthy sweat shirts standing in a filthy room saying « here I am ladys (sic) » who get angry with me because I’m not interested. Or guys with herpes who can’t understand why I’m not interested, serial daters and perverts. Or old men who are obviously looking for a nurse with a purse.
Guys who set up coffee dates to meet who never show up. Since I’ve joined POF, I’ve had quite the education about Daddy Dom, choking (please don’t ask), and Furries. And « retired early and taking care of an elderly parent » means « unemployed and living with mom ». Not to mention the guys who immediately want to know how big my house is.
And men on Reddit who think any woman on POF longer than a few months « obviously has something wrong with them ». I’ve hidden my profile now and I’m thinking about writing a book (although I’m sure many other women have considered that).
Rant over.
i take online dating seriously because irl is difficult for me. i thought that my profile was attracting certain men because of the pictures or what i wrote, but after having a bunch of guys critique my profile (with no chance of being rewarded for doing so), i was able to see there was nothing wrong with me, an everything wrong with the dating environment. im apparently one of the rare women that fill out profiles so i get a lot of hits from a lot of guys. the sad thing is most of them are trash. im just fresh meat and they think im easy for the plucking.
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> Also consider that maybe some of the women you’re swiping left on are swiping right on you.
this is the biggest thing i try to tell guys on here that complain about only finding shallow women, or getting ghosted, or whatever negative experience. you need to really think about the people you are swiping on and ask yourself if youre trying to bag a woman cause shes hot, or if you want a meaningful relationship. if you know youre attracted to average women, then stop left swiping them. if you connect with this average woman and youre not 100% into her cause shes not beyonce, you are self sabotaging and your standards are too high. focus on their personality, a lot of people get hotter or are hot because of what they bring to the relationship, and not what they « look » like they bring to the relationship. if you right swipe on every girl regardless, and give 100% regardless, then you should reevaluate if its you or them.
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i can be attracted to almost any guy, but there are still deal breakers and straight up « Nope » that i left swipe on. i do get that i may be swiping left on « the one » but i cant make that compromise in order to do so. you shouldnt make a compromise like that either, but you shouldnt be swiping left just cause she has a big forehead, cause her knees look funny, or that she falls under 7 and below in looks.
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You have to completely separate on-line dating with real life and you must never take on-line dating serious (which was my biggest mistake as it gets to you and does make you question yourself, so if any guy feels down about himself already. On-line dating will magnify that)…..Either as a guy, you do well on there or you don’t as the odds are completely stacked against you.
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A man should only change himself if he chooses to but never for on-line dating as most women on them dating sites want what probably doesn’t exist.
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Edit – Since I’ve been approaching women in person. It is miles better than dating sites like night and day.
If it made a difference some would.
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I’ve altered my profile, rewrote it, been forced to remake it after being banned, so many times, the end result?, same as always, next to nothing with the odd sprinkling of hope.
Nah, I don’t take it seriously at all. It’s a fun thing to do when I’m bored. Chat some random people up, maybe go on a date, but for the most part I don’t really care.
Sure I put effort in. I spruced up my profile and looked for tips. I simply didn’t think it would be so difficult when I started.
I don’t get bummed about it and have just come to accept it.
Online dating just isn’t very conducive to creating real opportunities, not for most guys. You’re gonna send a lot of messages and most will be ignored or not responded to. Then from the interest you do get, things have to continue to work out to form anything lasting. It’s an incredibly uphill crapshoot.
That’s awesome! I used to do graphic arts, icons in apps for toolbars etc, splash screens, box arts too