POF : Ok so just want to say something, why at 27 is it difficult to find a relationship?
Like for real? I’m 27 right now, and throughout my dating experiences here in Toronto no girl wants to find someone or settle down.
My goal is to find love, get married and start a family. I mean heck I’m close to my 30’s surely most girls in that age understand that I want to commit and settle down with right?
Nope, it seems all they want is another person to cry on their shoulder or just to chat then block you. Like bruh! Why are you on this site if your not gonna want to have meaningful conversations or at least try to be normal?
And what am I doing wrong? All I say in my starting conversations is
« Hey you seem really cool, say after this quarantine is over want to meet for coffee? »
« Hey you seem really nice, say want to keep in touch, get to know each other more? »
Then they block me, well sorry for me trying to be original and not being a desperate dude saying stupid shit to you and assuming that’s 90% of all dudes on PoF!!
I think I might start dating older girls, like 32 to 34. At least they take dating and relationships seriously. I just dont understand.
Can anyone tell me what kind of messages I should be sending them girls? Thanks.
Let’s try to be nice about this ok thanks. Been having a rough experience so far
By. SirGunslinger
Idk about other women, but personally when a guy starts right off the bat with « hey let’s meet » that’s an instant turn off. We haven’t even talked, you know nothing about me or who I am other than what’s in my bio, we have absolutely no idea if we click or not.
I prefer to talk and see if there’s good conversation flow, mutual interests and see if both people seem genuinely interested, THEN ask to exchange phone numbers which usually leads to a date.
If a guy sends me a first message like your examples, that’s almost a guarantee that I will not respond and will just delete their message. It comes off as desperate to me. Try actually talking and getting to know a girl. Send her a first message based off of something in her bio or in her pictures (for the love of god not about her body or looks), that’s more likely to get you a message back because it shows you’re putting in effort and are genuinely interested in getting to know her.
Your message is just fine, just to the wrong type of person.
The people you’re messaging have no intention to meet up, they are just there to have something to do most likely. I feel like this is going to happen a lot during quarantine as more people are turning to online dating to fend off boredom than before.
How are you vetting these people before you offer to take it offline? Do they have a legit profile with helpful information for people wanting to know them? Are they providing engaging conversation and contributing to it? If they are being lazy in any of those categories they’re more likely to flake and you shouldn’t get your hopes up.
If I were you I would not even be trying to online date until quarantine is over and real life meetups are on the table again. Online chit chat gets old, no matter the « connection » someone feels for some words on a screen.
And you are going to find these people at any age, so get used to it or up your conversation threshold (and even then it’s no guarantee).
POF is filled with dudes who send really long messages like we gonna be penpals and act like it’s 1995 still. You have no idea what a girl is into or how you’ll vibe until you start chatting. So saying anything in the first message that has to do with meeting right away or keeping in touch is just too eager, not saying you are that way but that’s how it comes across. Just keep it simple! I’m more likely to reply to guys who say “hey, how are you today?” Or making a comment about something on my profile – like my dog lol. Something that gets the conversation going. I don’t recommend throwing out the “hey sexy, beautiful, etc” either. Good luck!
It could be a variety of things. It could be pics, ur headline, conversation starter, etc. I for instance want a picture of the dude. If not it could be a red flag that they’re cheating on their girlfriend or wife, or bad looking (some are less concerned or picky about that and there is someone for everyone). If your bio/conversation start has red flags that could do it too. Id post it here or look for examples of what not to put. Look at/google « nice guy » posts. If yours is similar it could be why. Be yourself, if they’re not interested its nothing personal and at least they’re not wasting your time. Ask honest females in your life for real feedback. Maybe that would help to see if thats why. And I do agree about the opening line. Find a different one or just ask how are they doing. See if you connect online before meeting up.