POF : POF pointless?
Single 34y.o. Male here. I have had a pof account for more than 14 years. I did ok on it when I was younger, even though I was a social moron (moreso than now).
Now I’m a bit older in my 30s and out of my shell, game dialed in, can talk to random women like normal at will without being weird even if we’re both in masks sometimes they just rip it off. Life is better but I’m curious…
As it became easier to meet/date women IRL, it seems for me meeting women online is FLAT OUT IMPOSSIBLE. I know some dudes that got some serious James bond persona that feel the same way. Even when a girl initiates the convo, I get ghosted after my first one or two responses 95% of the time the past year.
Has me and my friends’ E-game got worse as our real skills got better? Or is this a nationwide problem? Maybe things are too oversaturated on the girls’ end of things so they in plus ultra picky guard up mode? Idk
Thoughts?
By. Rhino3750ss
Realistically it really falls down their attraction and interest in you. There’s no magic method or formula. If anything, I feel it should be easier for you now because women in their 30s are more serious about relationships and families. You probably have better chances now than 14 years ago. I would delete your profile and make a new one with new pics.. just in case.
There are also several factors people need to consider when it comes to these things.
Eg.
Back in my technician days, I had to travel to several different cities upgrading cell towers in the boonies. I would normally stay for 1 or 2 weeks. Or even a month depending on the project. Some of these places had populations as low as 5k , 10k etc etc…and maybe 2% of the population had black people. Being a Young black male in my late 20s made me a magnet….Very little effort was put in and I always let them know Im not here for a relationship.
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Sometimes its even the age group. When I first tried PoF around 2016 i think.. I didn’t get much attention from girls in my area. Other times its just ( and this is why i think everyone who uses it goes dark after too long) You have to deal with the atmosphere of online dating.
Eg.
I would get girls to talk to me no problem, but I felt I had a time line or like a window to impress them to be deemed worth talking to any further. It sounds crazy saying that, but I met girls who just seemed that way and 2 even told me… I missed my shot. It is what it is…
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Other times… its really based on how well you talk to the person and how fast you can analyze and spark their interest in you.
Eg.
I have a girl to this day that I can always hook up with if I wanted. I tried 3 different times trying to get her. (In intervals of a few months). Shes a Native with a really fat ass. Its very rare for natives to have an ass as big as hers. The first time I tried talking to her… I was Talking like a nice guy.. simple and friendly… She ended up ghosting. 2nd time I tried talking to her a bit sweet and swuave and subliminal … she ghosted again…. 3rd time I flat out went superluminal (see Simpsons reference) and told her exactly what I want, (a date) when we will do it and when ill pick her up and how amazing the night will be. She didn’t ghost me this time… we even got a motel in the end.
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It really falls down to how much effort you want to put in and if you really want to go far with the person. Being able to read people from the little things they write or even the choices of pictures and the gestures in them tells you a lot. Even if they don’t write anything in their profile. This I learned from a friend who helped teach me how to read people based on very subtle clues. It sounds crazy but ….
Eg.
I used to use PoF with him. As in he does the talking (messageing) and once we get their number I take over. He would teach me things here and there. There was a time I seen a girl I absolutely wanted because she looked like the younger replica of a colleague that I that I wanted to sleep with. When he would message her, you can easily see by her responses she was very interested. When I took over and messaged her you can see the decline of effort and interest. Its because he knew what to say and what she wanted to hear. it was a very cool experiment. Fun fact: She’s apparently an escort now.
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Have you read this article? Its very interesting. Granted it more so applies to tinder, but also explains a lot why in person you do very well and online it may be different. Take with a grain of salt, but still a fun read.
[https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a](https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a)
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All in all … I wouldn’t say its pointless. If you’re an average looking guy with ambiton and you can express and show it with goals and values, im sure you should be able to find someone who meets similar interests as you.
Right now this is the start of « cuffing season » and girls are in transition mode. I’ve used POF off and on over the years, including over the summer, and right now it’s unusually dead. Eventually guys will get the message and back off from being forward and things will stabilize but give it a few weeks. Women right now on pof are just killing time or looking for unicorns to bring home for the holidays.
I have to say plenty of fish is pointless I’m 35 and I’ve been on it for 2 1/2 years and I just sent a bunch of nice intro messages to four different women yesterday lo and behold one of them sends me a one-word reply have high which shows lack of interest of even matching with me in the meet me pointless meet me swipe left and right feature that’s like tinder and bumble and all the other swipe left swipe right apps seems like women on plenty of fish just want attention they don’t want to talk to you or get to know you or for you to get to know them it’s just a swipe left swipe right game which is what seems to be with online dating is nowadays it’s worthless and useless even bother that’s why at this point in me being single for the last almost 3 years that I have come to the conclusion I will never find any kind of Woman that wants to date on plenty of fish because they just don’t wanna get to know a guy and put any serious effort into it it’s all a game to them I don’t think any women on plenty of fish are serious as far as I’m concerned I haven’t met a woman off of plenty of fish in two years the last woman I met was off another dating app and that was almost 10 months ago it seems that everywhere on online dating is just a big game to people the ghosting that they do all the time it makes him feel good but it didn’t really hurts and it’s painful for a guy to go so when he thinks we’ll maybe this one will be different in Mobile hold they’re all the same I haven’t been on a date in 10 months and I’ve been trying my hardest maybe that’s why I try to hard they pretty much gave up on online dating online dating including this app and website is garbage in horseshit doesn’t get you nowhere but bring your self-esteem and confidence down and meIt makes you feel hopeless at you’ll never find any kind of love ever again
I call POF **P**lenty **o**f **F**akes . My first pof date aged 15 years and gained 50 lbs in a matter if weeks LOL
Hinge or Bumble are probably better apps if you’re looking for an actual relationship.
Apps like Tinder and POF are filled with freaks, scammers and flat out people you just don’t really want to date.
I am a 42 yr single white BBW and im having kinda the same problem. My problems tho are fake profiles a lot of fake since they have that calling feature now in chat some random dude call me this morning and he was foreign who didn’t speak very good English and when I went to the profile after I hung up it was a picture of some random white dude that you could find a towel and have been photoshopped if you know what you’re looking for so I’ve added yet again to my own profile you know that I not looking for your money so don’t ask me to send you my banking information so you can send me money I had my own money I don’t need yours and then ask for my phone number and we’ve talked for awhile to know each other kind of and then when you call me and I’m think I’m talking to some white dude blue collar and you don’t speak of lick of English no I ain’t going to happen so I don’t know what all you men are having trouble with that’s the front bumper I’m coming into