POF : Respond to messages immediately??
I get on POF once a day to check messages. When I’m first interacting with someone, I send a message back, ask them about their day, etc. There are so many fake accounts and messages that I’m not eager to spend hours with a scammer. But twice now I’ve had men say I don’t seem interested because I don’t respond within a few hours of a message. Seriously? Is this really expected on online dating now and I’m just clueless, or is this unreasonable?
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By. StartledDungbeetle
I just never get responses, I wouldn’t get upset if I had to wait for one.
I have the same thing happen to me with guys sometimes on the site. One guy sent me a message and I was responding but not with full responses as I had just woke up. He got mad and said well maybe if you responded with more than just one word answers. I was like I just woke up so I didn’t have a chance to respond with full responses.
One guy kept messaging me every 2min and didn’t even give me a chance to respond without getting upset with me.
I had one guy block me because they asked if I needed a date to the game on sunday and I said I have one ticket a friend sold me. They asked how I got the one ticket and then when I tried to respond they blocked me lol.
I’ve never put emphasis on replies, people have lives to live but I’d say after 4 days people will lose interest and talk with others or not login. Plus when they have 4 dating profiles they can’t keep up or remember what they’ve talked about.
One word replies can be another disinterest, in even as little as 5 or 6 messages and all a person is getting back is good, okay, cool, awesome, LOL, don’t start a conversation with them in the first place, if they go weird on you because you won’t reply block them.
I’ve seen people get bent out of shape over not replying to messages or text fast enough, they usually have insecure issues about themselves to begin with and is a red flag for me, too many red flags and I’ll move on.
I respond quickly, but thats just force of habit for me. (In my career, I have to respond to clients/bosses quickly, so sitting on messages drives me crazy).
I don’t get upset if someone else doesnt reply for a while as I understand they have lives as well. But I DO tend to get annoyed/possibly end the conversation if the average response time is over a day or two. Its just impossible to form any sort of connection/conversation with that long of a delay, and in the back of my head it just makes me think I’m there for boredom relief/backup.
I think some people have this expectation, I have had some very agro messages about not responding often and soon enough from guys (I am sure women would do it to).
Good way of screening out whether you will be compatible though.
They sound unreasonable from your description.
(Unless you mean, you message a few times back and forth, and then drop off without warning. But that doesnt sound like the case.)
Just be thankful that there are still guys who are open to letting you know their flaws (i.e. being obsessive, impatient) from the get go.
if only I had these problems :))
Depends on what kind of person you are messaging, if they are the type who like to sit down and chat, and I mean actually set aside a few hours to talk then they will get frustrated if replies are hours in-between.
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If they only drop by once in a while, send a message and not look for a day or so then they won’t mind.