POF : Self esteem crushed
Hi guys. I know this is probably not just me. I’ve been online for the last three weeks and I’ve message loads of people I thought were interesting, I messaged about stuff they wrote on their profile and stuff.. nothing too clingy or eager. Just asking normal questions. I got no replies, and if I do is a one word reply just to be blocked straight after. I know I’m not a Greek god, but I used to think I looked ok. A lot of people have told me throughout the years that I look very handsome. I don’t agree but I don’t think I’m buttfuck ugly. Straight to the point : it’s making me really depressed. I’ve struggled with self esteem forever but this is making it even worse. I thought that at least mathematically I would get some sort of result. How do you guys cope with it if it’s your case too?
By. perdurabo9
Unfortunately that’s just online dating. Guys can’t get responses and women get smothered under a crazy number of hook up offers and dick pics.
I used to track it and I was averaging something like 1 response for every 10 messages I sent out and 1 date for every 5 responses. So it would take messages to 50 different women to get 1 date. And this was after I worked on getting good pictures and tried to really beef up my profile with lots of good info.
Personally, I’d suggest sticking to real life. It’s easier and you’ll meet higher quality women. You can stick to online if you want, but it’s brutal.
honestly get off the site online dating is a hoax. Yeah 10 years ago you could find someone, but the way it is now isn’t worth the hassle.
> How do you guys cope with it if it’s your case too?
By not worrying about things that are out of my control.
As you have no more ability to predict who will reply than you have predicting next years weather.
Honestly mate. I’ve been on POF for well over 10 years on & off & I can count the number of replies I’ve had on one hand. It’s so disheartening, I seldom bother reaching out anymore. I get the occasional compliment on my profile & every interaction starts from there but I’ve pretty much given up trying to get a reply from women on POF. It also irks me as I try to find something relevant to their profile & make an effort, even if it is just a short paragraph.
I see so many profiles that say please don’t just say hi or hey there. So I don’t, but 80% of the messages I receive simply say exactly this.
I hate ignoring messages, but because I’m ignored, I perpetuate the behaviour. Especially when all that’s says is hi or hey there.
Advice: Be attractive. Don’t be unattractive. Literally nothing else matters.
Please don’t let this filthy site mess with your self esteem. They call it plenty of fakes for good reason.
This is not an uncommon reaction, and that’s because most of the one-word replies are actually from AI.