POF : Should I start over? I’m texting 4 guys none seem that good of a fit of what I’m looking for? Should I try a new website?
Well you know I got on the website just to lose my v. Now the problem with that I hate sharing that’s all I’m there for. So if they’re no good does it really matter? Well two of them we talk often long periods. One travels a lot my thing is deep down I think he’s too big for me to actually want to do that with but I talked to him because we’re the same race. That’s literally the reason he got a chance. He is black and I’m black but we’re both light skinned despite being almost 100% black. We talked about our experiences with never really feeling like we belonged or whatever. I talked about my job etc… I went in depth and all that I have said stuff to him I wouldn’t say to others. I was interested in going out at some point. But the attraction is not there I know I wouldn’t be shy or scared around him. He might be tall but I think he’s a bit heavier than I prefer. And the latter reason is wrong but I didn’t grow up around black people. I grew up around white and Hispanic people. So those are the men who I usually prefer. Even though all the other guys I’m talking to are mixed race or Hispanic to some extent. For me that’s not the biggest thing though I’m not quite unattracted to him either.
Then there’s another guy we’ve really talked about a lot. And I’ve really gone through it all just because I’m seemingly authentically attracted to this guy. But things aren’t good he’s always on about all the bad stuff he does and how his parents messed him up. I don’t really know where I stand even I just want to fuck him nothing more but he’s all needy in a sense. Like when I said I didn’t like relationships much he got all super quiet. And I don’t need men this is why I’ve stayed a v so long. Because I don’t really care about relationships. At the same time I really like both these guys. One in a good way. The other kinda in the moth attracted to a light and that’s not even about his looks but his personality is very much like mine. Like difference is I don’t fuck myself over. Reminds me of an exroommate who was bats but I got along with her good even when she was trying to talk about killing herself and her ex in depressed phase and I talked her out of that calmly. Anyway I can get along with crazy people. My other friend would talk about the ghosts she saw and whatnot. I would just shake my head and move on. But I did not feel like this was the time for that. He’s seemingly not as crazy as that but GOD he’s depressing. Plus he talked about relationships. And I’m not into that with anyone. Same with the first guy. While the first guy is not much different. I don’t want anyone obsessed just because I want sex every now and then. But if I wasn’t concerned about it I’d probably date the second guy. If he was ok because we talk like everyday called etc.. and we get on pretty good. I don’t usually flow well with most people.
Third is a guy I have given my number to twice and nothing has happened yet. We go periods we do not talk but we do talk more than others. Than the last guy well his is purely solely I’m sexually attracted to him the most of anyone else I just mentioned. But he lives in another state but I live in the state line but I have no access to California. So it’s like as much as I crave him how likely is it we could? He seems pretty normal and he’d be my number 1 option. But his accessibility isn’t very unrealistic. So that’s why I’m like should I try again? Or work through the problems? At least distance doesn’t seem that bad I guess.
Also like this is better than last time guys on the site saying they would like beat the shit out of me and then find them irl accidentally in the store. Or guys being overly racist. calling me names and what not. This time it’s not that bad. It’s like I’m getting a whole lotta guys who are doing nothing for me. Or scared the shit out of me or don’t want to actually meet up to begin with.
By. hazel2246
This post is an absolute car crash.
>So if they’re no good does it really matter?
Yes, it does. I’m all for people going online for hookups if that’s what they want. But they still should be with good people. Here’s my top 3 reasons (there are loads more):
1. Not good people can be dangerous. Your safety shouldn’t be compromised for the sake of a hookup.
2. Sex is no fun when it’s with someone you don’t like. It’s better to just masturbate if it’s not about exploring a person you’re into. That way you get the sensation without the frustration.
3. Sex is an intimate act. Whether or not you try to block your emotions, there’s still a decent chance that emotions (yours or his) will come up, especially if it’s more than just a one night stand. You don’t want a bad dude obsessing over you and you don’t want to fall for someone horrible for you.
So to answer your question, if you don’t like any of those guys, yes, you should start over. Keep looking (whether on POF or elsewhere, it doesn’t matter). Maybe keep talking to the 4th guy on the off chance that you will get to meet up (since it sounds like you actually like him). Find someone who you would want to hang out with and isn’t a threat to your wellbeing. Even if the goal is just to hookup, you will have to talk to this dude a bit. Also, please report the guys who make you feel unsafe. Good luck.
For someone who apparently doesn’t need men, you sure do put up with a lot of crap for no reason and have really low standards. Tighten them up and stop wasting your time talking to guys you don’t like much or can’t actually meet.
You don’t want a relationship so what does it matter who you lose your V too. In the long run you want to lose your V, you can choose anyone that you feel you want since its not love it’s lust.