POF : What’s your go-to opening line? Or what’s something that’s drawn you in? Feel like I’m swimming upstream.
Hope it’s ok to post this? I’ve discovered that in the world of OLD when it comes to starting a conversation I go completely blank. I think I’ve been traumatised by receiving no replies when I’ve put max effort in so I second guess every time I go to write a message.
Most people say “don’t just say hi, start a conversation” but as I said, my mind shuts down completely and I’m not even sure where to start.
And the messages I usually get are just “hi” or something overtly sexual. Also not exactly engaging or encouraging.
Any ideas?
By. sarzib83
Honestly? I would try using a different app. This one’s crappy. I find it funny people still use it
I typically go with, « Hi ». It never works, but hey, you miss every shot you don’t take.
**I think this is half making sure you give a decent attempt with minimal effort (so you don’t get burned out), and also not caring too much whether they reply at all.**
First, set your standards so that less people become worth messaging. If people don’t meet what you feel is vital for a relationship, they are irrelevant. Messaging less helps OLD fatigue.
Set realistic expectations by analyzing their perceived level of effort in putting together an informative profile. If they have a lazy or sparse profile, you probably won’t be getting substantial interaction out of them *even if they respond*. If they have a well thought out one with plenty to build an opening message off of, you’ll most likely get something of value back *if they reply*.
The goal here is to show that you’re not haphazardly messaging anyone and everyone for attention, but that you have messaged *them* in particular. Give the bare minimum by mentioning something from their profile, perhaps their name if given. Send it out into the ether and forget about it if/until they get back to you.
Most importantly, remember nobody owes us reciprocal interaction at these opening stages. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment if you think you deserve a response back just because you sent the first message. Not saying you do, that’s just a general disclaimer. With that in mind, try to not take it personally if they don’t get back to you. These people are strangers that haven’t earned that consolation yet.
Hope this helps. It’s worked for me for years!
I recently found a really nice guy on POF. Unfortunately I don’t remember how our conversations began. It’s only been a few months, but so far he seems great. Good luck
This is just my opinion. I never ever say more than
« Hey there »
I use to be that guy who thought of clever lines, but its a waste of time. Regardless of what you say, they will look at your picture. If you’re attractive, they will talk to you. You don’t need to say anything witty as hell. Mind you, if they respond, you have to step it up but don’t invest time or effort on anything more.
Don’t look at their profile, spend time being clever based on what they written down ( assuming they did) and say super line or what not. Waste of time. If you’re what they are into, they will respond regardless what they say. Yes some may have a golden rule about short messages, but after you meet so many entitled online girls, you just shouldn’t care. If you’re what they want it doesn’t matter. TRUST ME….
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Mind you i mainly used this site for hooking up and only stopped becuase I ended up dating the last one i met, but aside from that, I never ever ever… go beyond. Hey there.