POF : When someone is online now, are they really online?
I met my girlfriend on POF a year ago, however, my friend showed me her profile on POF recently and it said she was online now. Now i’m just curious if this a glitch or does it mean she hasn’t deleted the app or redownloaded the app maybe? I don’t want to confront her yet just to stir drama, my best result would be to have someone message her and stir her into a conversation and if she does respond to the message, she’s already guilty. I haven’t used the app since I met her and I’m unable to log into my account, so the best case is make sure I send a message and she replies or if she reads it and ignores it.
By. Jeffbrat805
I’ve had the experience (or maybe pleasure, since it’s a bullet dodger most of the time?) that people who tell me they saw me online when I really wasn’t (and then proceeded to some sort of insanity like either wining about how I don’t like them or I’m a bitch because I didn’t reply and they SAW ME ONLINE). When in fact, I was definitely not online. I think the app is just glitchy.
from past experience, POF shows people online when they are not – to boost their numbers to users…
Maybe she forgot to logout. I’m not sure how long POF would list her as being online if this is the case, though.
I’m sure it’s devastating to think this could be happening. But I think you have the right idea of first going I’m with trusting her and finding out what else it could be rather than jumping to conclusions.
If you need help I can make an account near her and send her a message to see what happens. For all we know she got curious and read up her old messages with you. I’ve done that with previous partners. But more importantly I really hope all is well. Please keep us posted
POF uses profiles this way. It’s in the terms of service.
Your best result was to tell whoever told you she was online to show you because you trust your girlfriend enough not to cheat on you and you would never accuse her of cheating without proof first. Plotting ways to catch her doing something you have no proof she is doing is the first step towards being single again. Ever seen the show Cheaters? Do any of the episodes ever end in happiness and « oh I’m glad you hired people to monitor me when we’re apart so you could catch me not cheating on you »? Nope. Once you take the step you think is your best result it wont matter if it’s an app glitch or she is on there looking for your replacement.
Theirs a lot of crap, fake profiles, just strait up questionable shit with POF, but I think that part is probably accurate, do I have proof, No, but I have spent a lot of time on POF enough to sniff out every bs thing about the app itself and the profile’s on it within seconds but never got the impression that something shady was happening with the who’s online and when, it tells you on most every profile the last time the person was online whether its 8 hrs or 8 months ago, that’s my 2 cents for what its worth.
Don’t let something like this influence a good relationship. All of these sites have bugs and intentional misrepresentations of all sorts. There are all kinds of questionable technical issues. I wouldn’t trust any of these sites to provide reliable information.
I know that on OkCupid, for instance, users appear to still be online an hour after they have actually signed off, and if this can happen, a lot of worse things can.
She’s probably online, unless someone stole her pictures and created a new account. It sucks for you, because I bet it is the former and not the later. You don’t trust her, because if you did you wouldn’t be here asking for advice. And here she is peeping on POF a year into your relationship. But I wouldn’t confront her about it unless you are absolutely prepared to break up the very next day. And I wouldn’t simmer over it either because those hidden feelings of distrust etc. will seep out and your relationship may get rocky and unfun for a period of time before it finally escalates and you break up. If you enjoy being with her, just be with her. If it was meant to last, it will. If it won’t last, well just enjoy what you have (if what you have is enjoyable) until it doesn’t last. Then move on. I don’t think that keeping a POF account and logging in regularly is necessarily a bad thing, but it depends on the person. For her, I think it is a bad thing. Because guys like me get 0 emails in a year, but females like her get hundreds a day. So she is going to be interacting with guys. That’s a fact. Lots of interaction. And she doesn’t have a headline like « already taken ». So that means she is open to talking to other guys and is probably window shopping and even worse maybe even playing around behind your back. Also, when I keep my account open, I always tell the person I am seeing ahead of time even before I meet them, and also during if they need to know. They respect my honesty and understand my situation. For me, I am disabled and home a lot and it is a window into the world and I like female eye candy. I like seeing what is out there. But I get 0 emails and don’t meet anyone, and even if I did get an email I wouldn’t cheat on whomever I was with. So they know that and they are fine with it. You could think that maybe she is not a cheater and that she just didn’t have the insight to tell you that she was still logging in regularly. But that’s ridiculous. People should have a certain degree of courtesy and common sense. It doesn’t sound like your relationship is rocky now, so I would just erase this memory from your brain, enjoy the booty and fun you have… and don’t let it get to you. Just remember how your relationship was before your friend said anything and keep it like that. But if she starts acting really serious like she wants to get married or something, then try to trap her to expose truths vs lies. Because truth is important in a life long relationship. You won’t make it far if all you do is lie and deceive each other.
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PS – Since I am online a lot and don’t live in a huge city (population of nearest city is 200,000), I can see how active the local population is. There are people who log in daily. Some who log in once a week or two. And ones who haven’t logged in, in over 30 days. I don’t believe this BS where the app shows that you are online, when you aren’t. That’s BS.