The 12 techniques to convince effectively without forcing!
Everyone tinkers to get a big favor (end of year bonus) or a little service (take a Wednesday afternoon to take care of the children). You too ? To better get your message across, convince and get everything you want, below you will find 12 super effective tips!
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1 / Respect social rituals
Let’s start at the beginning if you don’t mind… Sentences like « How are you? » » , » you’re okay ? Have a huge impact. An American psychologist Howard has shown that our little ritualistic phrases to which we respond just as mechanically are far from harmless. Indeed, they have a power of influence.
Why ? Because they simply engage. Someone who responds that he feels good feels obligated to show himself in good shape, to be enthusiastic, and more readily agrees to respond favorably to a request. Ask a person how they feel (and follow with « ah I’m happy to hear it » if the person answers positively or « oh I’m sorry to hear » if it’s negative) before proposing something multiplies the chances of having a positive feedback (25% versus 10%).
2 / Create a space of privacy
You don’t have to present your product or service anywhere and anyhow. Make sure you are calm, in a clean place, and make your interlocutor comfortably: armchair or welcoming sofa, rather than a chair that hurts the buttocks, at the right temperature (you have never noticed that the shops of clothes were always very well air-conditioned winter and summer to make the customer more flexible and that they stay as long as possible).
You have to be friendly, smiling and warm. Moreover, we are more receptive in a lunch atmosphere, after a cup of tea or an eclair with a few small macaroons ??. Better yet, offer him something to establish a link (ancestral law of hospitality which induces reciprocity). Before, it was the ritual of smoking, today a Tic Tac does the trick very well 🙂
3 / Direct requests
Let things be clear, you don’t want anything, don’t ask for anything, you have nothing to sell. The first thing to do when you want to get something is to skew and do it in a subtle way (by the way, I wrote an article on the subject that I invite you to read here). Two psychologists from the University of Brittany-Sud, Guéguen and Fisher-Lokou, asked more than 3,600 people in the street to give some money: 43% gave when the request was indirect (we asked them hourly) against 28% in direct request. Better yet, they gave more on average (0.37 versus 0.28%).
4 / Copy your interlocutor
The more you look like him, the better. Imitates his gestures, his intonations, his language tics, his attitudes, his way of dressing. All the work in social psychology shows that we prefer and help more those that seem familiar to us. For example, if you drop something in the street, it is more likely that someone will help you pick them up if they are of the same social class as you, dressed like you, etc. More surprisingly, you can get three times as many favorable responses from someone with the same first name as you.
5 / repeat everything he says
No, this is not a joke! But the method is incredibly effective, this is what shrinks call « the chameleon effect ». It is a question of systematically repeating what your interlocutor says by using his own words, his own feelings. For example: “as you just said… in fact if I understood you correctly… etc. « .
A social psychology team from Radbout University Nijmegen (Holland) revealed that we are more generous with people who imitate us. For example, I have a restaurateur friend who told his team the following instruction: repeat the customer’s request systematically ”Why? Because he noticed that customers more often gave a tip when the waiters who took the order systematically repeated what the customer asked instead of just saying « it is noted ».
6 / Tell your interlocutor that he is totally free
Clearly, this is the best way to get someone to do what you want them to do. Many experiments have shown that just saying the word “freedom” positively influences behavior. When you ask someone something by saying « you are free to … » or « you do as you want », the success rate is multiplied by three.
7 / Make your interlocutor someone important
You have to flatter their ego (subtly), because this is the best way to arouse someone’s interest and ensure their good cooperation. This is what is done on TV by asking stars for their opinions on problems they have no idea about in order to strengthen their self-prestige. For example, Cyril Hanouna who talks about the future of wild tunas or Patrick Bruel who talks about the budgetary debt.
8 / look straight in the eyes
Numerous studies have shown that we appreciate more favorably people who look at us and more particularly those who look permanently.
Why ? Because looking the other in the eye is an invitation to come together, it increases the receptivity of your interlocutor and especially to capture his attention. Basically, it’s a way of saying: « you interest me, I have a message to send you or a request to make ». This is also the case with people who have intimate links between them, they willingly look each other in the eyes.
Clearly, fixing the person in the eye just before making a request increases the chances of getting what you want.
But be careful, looking the other in the eye can also make them uncomfortable if you are late in making your request. He may feel awkward and therefore generate uncomfortable tension. So, it is best to make the request as soon as you look at the person.
A small note: when you want the exchange to end, just stop looking your partner in the eye, or even avoid their eyes. This will be a sign that you will consider the interview to be over and that you want to move on. To put it simply, this indirect way of proceeding allows for a smooth transition.
9 / Touch
ATTENTION: there is touch and touch eh? But basically, a light touch on the forearm, the shoulder of your interlocutor multiplies your chances of success. Touch makes people respond more favorably (76%) than no contact (47%). Even better, when it is combined with the gaze, it goes up to 91%!
This has been shown by several studies carried out in France or the United States. For example, customers reached by a salesperson in a store stay there longer (22 minutes compared to 13). Better yet, they buy more.
You have never noticed that you find the waiter or the waitress more sympathetic, who gives you a pat on the back for example or touches you on the shoulder, and you automatically leave a bigger tip (17% against 14%)
10 / you have to repeat
The more you repeat a message, the more likely it is to impress itself on the other. All the studies carried out for several years in advertising in the United States as in Europe have shown that it takes at least 10 messages per day to influence the behavior of a consumer. In addition, this message has all the more impact when it is associated with a recurring visual element.
11 / Apply the technique of « low-ball » in other words of the priming
– « You have 5 minutes on Saturday to help me wear some little things? » «
– « No worries with pleasure! » «
– » Great ! I have to move the whole cellar and take it all to the country with my parents, you don’t mind coming with your vehicle, the trunk is bigger? «
– « Uh no »?
What do you notice through this little dialogue 🙂?
I will help you. Clearly, in order to get a lot, you must first ask for a little. This is the famous technique of priming. It is based on the fact that it is very difficult to say NO once you have said YES, even if you realize that you have been ripped off. This is shown by Robert B. Cialdini, a famous social psychologist.
With the lowball technique (priming), 56% of people agree to do something and 53% actually do it; without it, only 31% of acceptance and 24% of achievement.
12 / Address yourself to the right brain …
Before explaining to you why, a little biology lesson is necessary?
In humans, the two cerebral hemispheres each have their role. The left hemisphere thinks and acts logically. With lu, i you look for causes and explanations for everything and on every point: it is the « pessimistic » brain.
In contrast, the right hemisphere is concerned with pictorial thought, comprehension and non-verbal expression. It is he who allows us to recognize faces, to dream or to hear music for example. Different works have shown that it is the optimistic brain.
Why ?
Because lesions of the left hemisphere provoke reactions of intense anxiety, crying attacks, depression. On the other hand, lesions of the right hemisphere result in fits of laughter and euphoria.
Another example: cartoons have more effect when they are projected in the left visual field (right hemisphere). Conversely, horror movies are most effective when viewed in the right visual field (left hemisphere).
So to influence, you have to address the right brain:
- Express yourself with conviction and warmth;
- Illustrate what you are saying and use colorful language, concrete rather than abstract words (for example « I feel … I see » rather than « I think or I believe. » All studies on cognition show that information has more. impact and is best remembered when associated with a visual element;
- Say « we » instead of « you and me »
- Do not against objections, because that would make your interlocutor recalculate on his left brain;
- When you feel a reluctance, “marry her! « , Plays your own devil’s advocate (example: » Of course, you could blame me that … « , » I agree with you and I understand your position, moreover I put in your place: why I would buy … Whereas… but precisely let me tell you a little secret ”;
- Make sudden breaks, basically by suddenly changing your attitude, your behavior (for example, you stop talking in the middle of a sentence and you look at something like a pen or a plant. Better yet, you stop talking in the middle of a sentence. get up to go and examine the object in question, while defending your point of view). Result: it will create an effect of surprise which will help to disconnect it from its logical functions.
If what I shared with you today helped you see more clearly, please share this article so that selling becomes second nature 🙂
Thank you !
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