Couple: 4 questions to ask yourself before breaking up: Current Woman The MAG
1. Why am I thinking about the breakup?
When you start to think about breaking up, you often feel like it’s the only solution. However, it is important to question the reasons that lead us to think about this separation, because it should not be driven only by emotions. And for good reason: to be a slave to your emotions, to live only through them, is to take the risk of never finding the stability you are looking for. Such a decision must therefore be well thought out and supported by reason.
To support this reflection, we can also ask the following questions: am I aware of the repercussions that this rupture could have on me, but also on my children / my family? Am I prepared to take responsibility for the injuries this may cause?
2. Do our problems have solutions?
It’s not easy to face a marital crisis. But before making the decision to break up, it is essential to consider whether there is another way out. For this, it is necessary to be aware that all couples are confronted with problems and that life together is not rosy every day. This perspective is necessary, even if we have the feeling that the separation will only be beneficial. How many people realize – too late – that they made a mistake by leaving their spouse? Before getting there, you have to ask yourself if you’ve tried everything to save your marriage.
If one is stuck on this issue, asking those around you for advice and support is helpful. It may also be wise to call in a psychologist, a psychotherapist or even a marriage counselor, who will guide us and help us find answers.
3. Did I question myself?
When we are in a relationship, we tend to ask the other to make an effort and it happens that the latter does not want or does not manage to meet our expectations. But are these expectations realistic? We cannot ask our spouse to be as we would like him to be, that is to say in our image, because he has qualities that we do not have, and vice versa .
Before reproaching him, have we ever questioned ourselves? Efforts don’t just go one way and realizing this can give a couple a new boost. When we work on ourselves and change, we force the other to adapt to our new functioning and therefore to evolve as well.
4. What does the other bring me?
It is sometimes difficult to know if thelove is still present within the couple. To have a clear mind, it is therefore preferable to wonder about our degree of attachment to others and what they bring us. What have we built together? What made us mutually grow? Am I ready to give it up? Such an assessment makes it possible to identify the points to change in order to try to rekindle the flame: to be more attentive to the desires and dreams of the other, to change daily life to break the routine, to open up to the outside world to put oxygen in your relationship or take some distance to find each other better.
Thanks to Camille Rochet, psychologist, couple therapist and member of the French Society of Family Therapy. More information on his website: www.anoustous.com
Read also :
Break: our survival guide to forget it!
Breakup message: 30 things to absolutely avoid
Rupture: how to leave it (gently)?
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