Dating : Dating Advice for over 65.

Let’s face the truth. No one chooses to be lonely. We have friends and family that care about us. We go out to dinner and movies with our best friends. Why am I not satisfied?

Friends and fun activities only add a teaspoon of satisfaction to our large quantity of loneliness. What we don’t have is someone to adore us and hold us…someone to share our thoughts or concerns. We don’t have a companion to fill the empty void left by a missing husband or wife.

Falling in love and having a truly special relationship will encourage you to live your life to the fullest.

You’ll take better care of yourself. You’ll eat better, exercise a bit more and laugh. Having a loving relationship will help you definitely live longer.

Ok. Are you convinced yet? Oh. You have concerns. Yes, men and women are concerned because dating is something new in their lives. Questions pop in your head. How do I begin? What do I do? Am I pretty enough to attract a man at my age? Am I handsome enough to attract a woman at my age? Is it dangerous? Are there really gold-diggers out there to take advantage of me? AND WHAT ABOUT SEX?

Relax. Relax. Relax. Take dating one step at a time. First, meet someone attractive to you. Really now, don’t go out with people you’re not interested in. Be honest and tell them the truth. Find Someone nice whose values resonate with yours.

I hear your next question. You ask, “Where can I meet my Single-Someone at my age? I can give you a hundred answers that are the same you’ll get from anyone. It goes something like this… you’ll meet someone through friends, family, church or synagogue, shopping, gyms, bars, joining new activities, Ballroom Dance, and possibly internet dating.

My advice is…first, talk to your family and be honest that you want to date again. Many of you, especially women, are ashamed to admit they are lonely for male companionship. Some men feel guilty that somehow they are being disrespectful to their deceased wives. Many of our adult children feel we are too old to want a love relationship.

Your honest talk with your loved ones will free you to invite the possibility of falling in love again.

The next step is your attitude. You may need to step out of your comfort zone for this one. Have you become a grouchy old woman or a grouchy old man? Do you complain frequently? Does conversation with your friends and family revolve around your aches and pains or your latest medications? Then I say stop, stop, stop doing that. Read a book on positive thinking. Give your brain a rest and fill your thoughts with other things. Read a newspaper and puzzle on problems of the world. Take a computer class, an art class, or learn to play the piano or guitar. If you sing join a choir or go to Karaoke. Be a person interested in something besides your own confined world.

Now that you’re ready to meet someone and you are approachable. You’re ready to open your eyes and meet available singles.

Try all possibilities you feel comfortable doing…ask your friends and family, spread the word. Tell your friends at Church or Synagogue. Talk to people at your gym, go to senior dances and socials. You may even want to sign up for an internet dating service. That’s how you go about meeting single people to date.

Dating is another issue altogether. Dating is where you meet someone interesting and have a nice time. It may only be for a brief coffee or a drink. Or it may be for a nice meal and a movie. Your options are always open. You never have to see them again or you may want to see them again. Keep your emotions in check. Only keep dating someone consistently if you can see them in your future. Otherwise, keep looking.

You will find someone to love. I promise. Keep your eyes open and smile.