Dating : Dating And Chronic Pain.

h2>Dating : Dating And Chronic Pain.

Trying to date is hard. Trying to date while suffering from chronic pain is harder.

Photo by Naomi August on Unsplash

Trying to date in your 30’s is hard. Do you know what’s harder? Trying to date in your 30’s while dealing with chronic pain, I know I talk a lot about dealing with chronic pain, but it’s something that controls my life in every way.

I’ve never been one who dated a lot. Sure, I’ve been on dates, but that’s all they were. They never morphed into a relationship, just stayed as casual dates.

Having chronic pain makes it so you can’t do typical day to day activities. We could try, but we end up needing to lay down and take a pain pill and trying to date?

Don’t even get us started. If it wipes us out to take a shower, think about how it would feel for us to be actively dating.

You might think getting into the dating scene isn’t a big deal, but when you’re in pain 100 percent of the time, then it’s a HUGE deal.

Depending on the couple, but when you date you usually go to dinner and a movie. No problem, right? Wrong, that could easily trigger a flare.

So, how can you get into the dating scene while dealing with chronic pain? I will tell you. You could do a google search for dating sites for people with chronic pain.

When you’re going out on dates with people who deal with chronic pain, then you stand a much better chance with them having more compassion for you, since they understand what you’re going through.

When doing a google search, I found a site that listed several dating sites claiming to have members with disabilities. was at the top of the list, with a statement saying they have the largest database of singles with disabilities.

I’ve tried before, but I wasn’t actively looking for someone with chronic pain. Even though is a popular dating site for everyone, I wasn’t too fond of it.

If you sign up on a dating site and it’s not primarily focused around people with chronic pain or disabilities, that’s fine!

Still, sign up for it, you can explain your situation in the about me section on your profile. Share as much or as little as you want about dealing with chronic pain.

When you get asked out on a date, be sure to be upfront with the person who’s asking you out.

Let him, or her know that you suffer from chronic pain and ask to bear with you while you participate in the activities they have planned for the date.

Let them know you need to go at your own pace, so you don’t overdo it and trigger a flare-up in the middle of the date.

I can’t guarantee you won’t have a flare up during the date since our bodies are different. But if you go at your own pace and try not to overdo it, you might have a better chance at not triggering a flare-up.

Worst case scenario, let’s say you do experience a flare during your date, don’t let it stop you from enjoying yourself.

We need to take control of our pain and not let it keep us down. I know it’s easy to say that but hard to do. It comes down to whether our pain controls us, or we control our pain.

We could always take a little baggie that holds our pain meds in our purse or bag. That way if we do have a flare, we will be prepared.

Another thing you could do to help get you back into the dating scene is to join a local support group for people who suffer from chronic pain. It not only helps get you out of the house, but it also gives you something to do and look forward to.

Participating in the local support group will provide you with the opportunity to make new friends and find people to date.

If you’re not looking to date someone with chronic pain, you could take some classes at your local community college. Let’s say one of your hobbies is writing.

You could look up a few writing classes or workshops that your community college offers and try that out for a change. It gets you out of bed and out of the house. It lets you improve your hobby skills while meeting other people with the same interest.

There’s no easy way to date while suffering from chronic pain since we don’t know how our date will respond to our needs and limitation. The best thing we can do is not to give up and to keep trying.

If you’re staying at home because you don’t want to cause a flare up, then that’s understandable. But wouldn’t you rather have a flare because you’re having fun instead of laying on your bed?

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