Dating : Am I the problem? Or can something change?
I (20f) have been dating someone (19m) for a while and I love him. We started out while he was fresh out of a 5 year relationship.
My main issue is that: though they’re not together anymore; he talks to her every day, goes to the shops with her, went to the cinema with her (then cancelled a trip with me a few days later), and is currently at one of the best theme parks in the country with her.
He had booked their tickets about a year in advance, well before they broke up, as a Christmas present for her. This also included a single hotel room for the two of them, for 2 nights.
We’ve talked about my issues with jealousy, insecurity and feeling second best pretty much to death, and he’s apologised numerous times for making me feel this way.
My friends think he’s mugging me off and keeping his options open.
I’ve tried to be okay with things as much as possible, but this just really hurts. I feel like, even though we’ve talked about the fact that what he’s doing hurts me, he’ll never do anything about it because in his mind, what he’s doing is fine.
Am I insane and overthinking things? Should I just let it go?
I’m just sick of feeling like this all the time and really need some advice.
After reading your first 2 paragraphs, I can’t understand what you are missing here.
Sounds like he’s still dating her…
Talking to an ex and hanging out as friends once in awhile is one thing, but what he’s doing is unacceptable if he’s dating you now.
Hanging with exes is a grey area for sure. I’m friends with most of mine and my best friend in the world is a former girlfriend. I’d go to an amusement park with any of them. But I sure as hell wouldn’t stay in a single hotel room with them while I was dating someone else. If you ask me, even if there hasn’t been any physical cheating, this is a really unhealthy relationship and you’re just gonna drive yourself crazy.
Forget red flags, this is a fucking red Armada
Bail out, now. You are still young so you have a lot of time to look around. This dude is straight up dating her if he’s putting that much effort into her.